As most people have figured out by now, the “movie” Les Miserables turned out to be a social experiment on how many articles the media could write about the general well-being of Anne Hathaway. While we’re still waiting for final numbers, the scientists conducting the experiment said numbers far exceeded their expectations.
Turns out people can talk about starving woman with shaved heads all the live long day. (I’m sure NBC’s already using this data to develop a new competition reality show.)
However it’s drawing to a close now as the movie gets ready to “premiere” and Anne Hathaway prepares to start filming Princess Diaries: Seriously Mom, In all my Moments of Teenage Insecurity it Never Occurred to you that Being told I’m a Princess Might Help.Therefore she’s growing out her controversial buzz cut into some kind of modern shag.
When she originally shaved her head for the role, people demanded the Oscar Committee give her the Best Actress Oscar right away. Why wait for the actual ceremony when everyone knows the actress who shaves her head will win? It’s a no-brainer. However the Oscar Committee insisted that Anne wait until the big night because they like to pretend they’ll consider actresses who didn’t undergo a major physical transformation for a role. Now that’s a laugh! Can you imagine if they gave it to an actress who simply just acted. As if.
However that’s not our biggest concern right now. Frankly, I’m worried Anne Hathaway might be eating again. After brilliantly transforming herself into America’s sweetheart by only eating radishes and dried oatmeal paste for months, she now appears to be backtracking. While no one’s spotted her eating out at a restaurant yet, the fact she no longer looks emaciated makes me think that someone’s slipping her wet oatmeal. Possibly even with things mixed in, like sugars and syrups and butters.
While I’m not sure the best way to deal with this, I assume the hashtag #RadishesForAnne should help.