Before we jump into the fact that Kate’s oldest friend Jessica told Life & StyleÂ magazine that Kate Middleton is pregnant, let me give you a little Crushable insider story. Just in case you want to know how a story goes from email subject line to salacious homepage slander.
I had a meeting this morning to go over meeting-y stuff. Morning meetings are hard for me. Not only am I counting down the hours until it’s socially acceptable for me to eat lunch, but I’m also stressed about missing big celebrity news. Ever since Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson while I ate at a restaurant, I’ve had angina about not being in front of a computer when something big happens. IÂ frequentlyÂ have nightmares where I’m trapped on a wi-fi free elevator when they announce the Fifty Shades of GreyÂ casting choices. Can you imagine!?
So this morning during my meeting, I get this email on my phone.
Immediately I’m like IT’S GO TIME! Kate Middleton is pregnant. I need a headline and I need an unlicensed OB-GYN willing to guestimate baby bump size on the phone STAT. Then I reread it.
I totally missed the fact that it was her friend. UGH. The dreaded “friend” who probably went to nursery school with Kate Middleton for a few months in the ’80s. That means nothing. I went from 0 to 60 to 0 more quickly than Jessica Simpson could get pregnant with her second child. Anyway, I left my meeting, slowly ate my lunch and then decided to revist this story at my leisure. And that brings us back to present time.
So in case you hear rumors today that Kate Middleton is pregnant, this is what you need to know.
â€śTheyâ€™re planning to make an announcement in December,â€ť Jessica reveals. â€śI have this on the highest authority, and itâ€™s not to be taken lightly. Itâ€™s going to be wonderful, happy news when itâ€™s announced.â€ť
Jessica, who attended the exclusive Marlborough school with Kate at the age of 14 and was a guest at the coupleâ€™s wedding reception last year, tellsÂ Life &Â StyleÂ that with the queenâ€™s Jubilee celebration over, Kate, 30, â€śwas told to put on weight by the palace in May and thatÂ 2013 would be the year they have a baby.â€ť Jessica continues, â€śThe royal family have been talking about William and Catherine having children for quite some time.â€ť
Jessica says that the royal coupleâ€™s social circle is â€śall abuzzâ€ť over the expected baby announcement and the two could not be more ready to have a little one.
â€śWilliam is much like Diana and will definitely be a hands-on dad and not rely heavily on nannies to raise his and Catherineâ€™s children,â€ť she tellsÂ Life & Style. â€śThey both try to be as normal as possible in their private lives, and that of course is going to continue when they have children.â€ť
Yes, Kate met her oldest friend at age 14. Sure. Let’s go with that. BRILLIANT! While I wish (upon a star…highly underrated DisneyÂ movie) that this pregnancy news was true, I won’t believe it until Kate says it herself. And then I’ll start buying all theÂ commemorativeÂ royal fetus plates they can sell me.