Oh my god, I hope I go the rest of my life without having to watch something as awkward as Kenya Moore‘s interactions with her boyfriend, Walter Jackson on last night’s episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Kenya is 41, and she feels her biological clock ticking away pretty quickly, so she was laying down the pressure on the Atlanta-based tow truck company owner last night. Holy god, it was so awkward. I wasn’t even there, and still my stomach was literally constricting anytime they were on screen together.
First of all, Walter was meeting Kenya’s family last night, specifically her aunt Lori, who Kenya says is super judgmental. But the surprising part was, Walter did fine! He had the family laughing, and Lori actually said the words ‘I love this man’. It was Kenya who was super awkward. When her family asked how the two met, Walter responded that it was at some celebrity bowling tournament where he told a mutual friend that he was ‘kinda interested’ in Kenya, and that he pursued her for about a month before they started dating. Of course Kenya is rolling her eyes nonstop through this, taking issue with the word ‘kinda’ and saying that he pursued her for a lot longer before she let him off the hook. Okay, sure. Maybe you guys have differing accounts of your courtship, but hash it out later — not in front of your family and a camera crew. That just makes you look desperate.
Then Lori started asking Walter how he felt about marriage. He’s been married before, so he said he was ‘cautious’ about it, and definitely didn’t want to move forward unless he was ‘in love’. Oh. Oh shit. This is the first I’m hearing that he and Kenya aren’t like head over heels for each other. According to her, they’re definitely heading in the marriage direction, but he described their relationship as ‘just dating’. Not love. Not in love. Oh my. So awkward for every human except for the somehow oblivious Kenya.
Cut to the ‘romantic dinner’ she prepared for Walter a few nights later. Notice I didn’t say ‘cooked’, because all she did was microwave pre-made dinners from Trader Joe’s and then throw it on plates. Okay, sure, no shame in that. Except she hid the bags, dirtied a pan with some noodles as if she’d used it to cook, and then went on at length about how long the different steps of the meal had taken her. She went as far as to use the amount of effort she supposedly put into the meal as an example of how much effort she was willing to put into the relationship! Oh bitch no. Like he’s not gonna see this episode and get pissed at you. Are you out of your mind? Then she spent the whole meal grilling him about when SPECIFICALLY she could expect a marriage proposal. She settled on five and a half months from now, he settled on drinking and rolling his eyes. She also wants a baby yesterday and said she wished she was nine months pregnant right now…but don’t worry, she’s not putting any pressure on you. None at all. So. Fucking. Awkward.
All I’m saying is you better make sure you keep the condoms and the thumbtacks locked up in separate rooms, because she is a prime candidate for that maneuver.
Other highlights: Kim Zolciak is still a crazy bitch, Phaedra Parks spent $20,000 on her son Ayden’s second birthday, Cynthia Bailey confronted Phaedra about talking behind her back in a butt-dial that NeNe Leakes played for her, Porsha Williams-Stewart is both dumb and useless, and Kandi Burruss is my favorite ever.