You guys, celebrities are just like you and me. We all put on our pants the same way, sometimes tell little white lies to protect a friend’s feelings, and eat Thanksgiving leftovers naked while thirty-five of our biggest fans break into our garage. Wait, what? That last one hasn’t happened to me, but it certainly happened to Lady Gaga, who’s was down in Peru for Thanksgiving before her concert in Lima yesterday.We know this because Mama Gags did some live-tweeting of the action, giving us a play-by-play of her extremely odd life. First she tweeted:
#MONSTER FACT when gaga is asleep try to break into the garage, sing loud as possible, + ring the doorbell repeatedly #happeningnow #badkids
So basically a group of her fans was able to find out where she was staying and pseudo-break into it. And with such a great success under their belt, their reaction was to sign loudly and ring the doorbell. They’re basically middle school prankster carolers…which I guess now that I think about it, surprises me not at all. But the weird part is yet to come, with more tweets:
thanksgiving story: woke up for leftovers in kitchen (naked)- stumbled on security camera revealing 35 monsters in my garage #why #iloveu
…so let me get this straight. First of all, Gaga was eating leftovers naked. I guess it’s not that different from eating in your underwear, which I do approximately all the time, except for some basic safety issues. Read: gravy. Second of all, thirty-five people can fit in her rented garage? Thirty-five people can’t even fit in my entire apartment. But there is still more to come:
i should be mad i guess except i tried to figure out how to slide stuffing under the door, but theres no cat-flap
Of course she’s not mad. Of course she isn’t. Because she’s Lady Gaga and anger does not become a maternal android. But this weird-ass story is, for me, the definition of why I could never and will never be a celebrity: the eating of leftovers in various stages of undress I have down to a science, but god help the poor soul who tries to wake me up after that and expects me to be in a good mood. A. You would not be able to wake me up, as I sleep the solid slumber of an uncooked turkey, and B. I would roast you next Thanksgiving, in place of said turkey.
Happy Naked Thanksgiving, Mother Monster!