If Anyone Can Pull Off Having Two Gorgeous Men Duel In Her Honor, Halle Berry Can

You know how sometimes you’ll just be enjoying a nice, quiet holiday meal with your friends and family when all of a sudden your underwear model ex-boyfriend will burst into the room and come to blows with your current actor/model boyfriend over your honor?  No? Well that’s probably because you’re not Halle Berry, and your ex-boyfriend has three kids and suffers from equal parts paunch and receding hairline like everyone else’s ex.

Last night, news broke that police responded to a report of assault on Thanksgiving Day at Halle Berry’s Hollywood Hills home after Gabriel Aubry, Halle’s baby daddy, came to the house and got into a fistfight with Olivier Martinez, her current beau.  They were both injured and taken to a hospital, where they were treated for said injuries.  According to TMZ, police said that Aubry came to Berry’s house on Thanksgiving morning to drop off their daughter Nahla. That was when he and Martinez got into an altercation in which the two men were trash-talking in French, then came to blows.

Wait a minute, hold the phone — they were trash talking in FRENCH?  So you’re telling me that not only did two impossibly good-looking, strong men come to fisticuffs over a woman they both obviously have feelings for, but they were “trash talking” in one of the Romance Languages?  You’ve got to be kidding me.  Where have I gone wrong in life?

A judge issued an emergency protective order that requires Aubry to stay at  least 100 yards away from Berry, Martinez and Nahla until Dec. 3.  Aubry and Berry have been embroiled in a custody battle over Nahla for years. The two appeared in court on Nov. 9 regarding the case but did not comment on the hearing’s outcome, according to the Associated Press. This modern-day duel probably had something to do with the recent court ruling that Nahla could not move to France with Berry and Martinez because it could harm the girl’s close relationship with Aubry.  After Aubry was treated cops charged him with misdemeanor battery and he was released on $20,000 bail.

The best part of this entire damsel-in-distress story? At 7:30 a.m. the morning after, Olivier Martinez was seen picking up some presumably much-needed spirits at a Los Angeles liquor store.  I think that might just make him the winner of this weird, kind-of-trashy-but-also-kind-of-classy brawl.


(Photo: WENN)

You can reach this post's author, Cassandra Hough, on twitter.
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    • Wes

      I would never fight over a woman with no areolae. Halle has boy tits.

      • JK

        so not true… according the research conducted using Google Images, immediately after reading your post!

    • doe

      You are an idiot! This was not the case of two men fighting over some woman but a father fighting for his daughter. Please get your facts right the next time

      • Cassandra Hough

        I don’t think anyone actually knows exactly what was said or why it happened, we can only assume it has to do with the child or resentment toward Halle. I doubt her daughter witnessed any of this, in which case I think it’s perfectly ok to make fun of two grown men making complete asses of themselves. The fact that they’re both good-looking models is what makes it even more prime for fodder.

    • http://www.facebook.com/gypsyzingaro Janis Alanis Zingaro

      Halle Berry should be embarrassed. She is destroying her child’s life by creating this madness. What a psycho beeotch.

      • http://www.facebook.com/jess.mccloskey Jess McCloskey

        She…wasn’t the one who got into a fist fight. She didn’t bust into a holiday party that she wasn’t invited to. So why exactly is it her fault? Just because she happened to be the woman? Eat nuts, dude.

      • http://www.facebook.com/gypsyzingaro Janis Alanis Zingaro

        Don’t be so naive. Firstly, these two men have ZERO reason to even know each other if it weren’t for her, and second, she has a loooong history of being crazy. She is doing everything she can to keep her daughter from having a relationship with her father. And third, eat nuts dude? Really? What are you 7 years old and retarded?

      • i dont get it

        What long history of being crazy? I know people want to call her crazy but that’s because they are jealous of her beauty success and star power in my opinion. But what’s this long factual history you speak of. Ok, she was in a hit and run… I’ll lead you off with that. Then what, though? She’s a 46 year old that’s been in 4 long term relationships (i know folks that have more in a year) So why is she actually crazy. Other than the ‘everyone knows’ theory

      • http://www.facebook.com/jess.mccloskey Jess McCloskey

        I introduced my colleague to my regular sandwich guy. They never would have met had it not been for me; am I responsible for everything that happens between them from now on? That seems like a pretty hefty responsibility that I would have avoided had I known.

        She has no long history of crazy. You’re making stuff up which is pointless and ridiculous. You do not know her or about her custody issues, so it would be sensible to judge the two men who got into a fight for the fact that they are two grown men who got into a fight.

        Did you really just use ‘retarded’ as an insult? Let me correct myself–I don’t mean ‘eat nuts’, I mean “go eat a bag of dicks”.

    • been there

      Leave it to a rumor starting bleeder to stir the pot about a father whos emotions got the best of him over HIS child. Of coarse it was in french be werentcause theet words he probably used werent bad enough in ENGLISH.

    • SDS

      This really isn’t glamorous or funny. A little girl saw her family in a violent fight. Your take on this is shallow and disgusting.