You know how sometimes you’ll just be enjoying a nice, quiet holiday meal with your friends and family when all of a sudden your underwear model ex-boyfriend will burst into the room and come to blows with your current actor/model boyfriend over your honor? No? Well that’s probably because you’re not Halle Berry, and your ex-boyfriend has three kids and suffers from equal parts paunch and receding hairline like everyone else’s ex.
Last night, news broke that police responded to a report of assault on Thanksgiving Day at Halle Berry’s Hollywood Hills home after Gabriel Aubry, Halle’s baby daddy, came to the house and got into a fistfight with Olivier Martinez, her current beau. They were both injured and taken to a hospital, where they were treated for said injuries. According to TMZ, police said that Aubry came to Berry’s house on Thanksgiving morning to drop off their daughter Nahla. That was when he and Martinez got into an altercation in which the two men were trash-talking in French, then came to blows.
Wait a minute, hold the phone — they were trash talking in FRENCH? So you’re telling me that not only did two impossibly good-looking, strong men come to fisticuffs over a woman they both obviously have feelings for, but they were “trash talking” in one of the Romance Languages? You’ve got to be kidding me. Where have I gone wrong in life?
A judge issued an emergency protective order that requires Aubry to stay at least 100 yards away from Berry, Martinez and Nahla until Dec. 3. Aubry and Berry have been embroiled in a custody battle over Nahla for years. The two appeared in court on Nov. 9 regarding the case but did not comment on the hearing’s outcome, according to the Associated Press. This modern-day duel probably had something to do with the recent court ruling that Nahla could not move to France with Berry and Martinez because it could harm the girl’s close relationship with Aubry. After Aubry was treated cops charged him with misdemeanor battery and he was released on $20,000 bail.
The best part of this entire damsel-in-distress story? At 7:30 a.m. the morning after, Olivier Martinez was seen picking up some presumably much-needed spirits at a Los Angeles liquor store. I think that might just make him the winner of this weird, kind-of-trashy-but-also-kind-of-classy brawl.