Congratulations! You made it through Thanksgiving! You may have tried to eat your way through a turkey, unlimited sides, and four whole pies, but you survived it nonetheless, ready and eager for the rest of the holiday season. My goodness. What an accomplishment. Don’t you feel you deserve a reward? Like maybe a rare, coveted snapshot of the world’s most famous celebrity baby, Blue Ivy? Well either you’re in luck or Beyonce drew the entire Internet-receiving world in Secret Santa, because feast your eyes on this…picture of the back of Blue Ivy’s head.
Wait but Bey! I was good all year, knowing you and Santa were watching! I didn’t talk back to my elders or put my elbows on the dinner table or wear my shoes in the hot tub! Sure, I got a little sassy with some of my tables at the restaurant, but you have to know they had that coming! I deserve a picture of Blue Ivy’s face! Put Jay-Z on the phone, I know he’ll see my side.
No but seriously! I appreciate the gesture, and I get as excited about pictures of this ephemeral combination of ideal, talented DNA as the rest of you do, but from this picture, all I know about this baby is that she has adorable curly hair, wears blue clothing, and that Beyonce loves her enough to kiss her on the cheek and wear braids in front of her. These are not gonna be enough details for my Memory Book, a journal where I chronicle the events of my life as they correspond to events in Blue Ivy’s. There’s gonna be a whole section blank where I can’t do my customary sketches of her face or design her outfits based on her facial expressions. All I have from January to November of this year are just non-descript blue rompers.
I just…I’m not gonna say this ruined my whole holiday or anything, since I still do get to marvel over Archie and Abel Arnett, Amy Poehler‘s kids, but I did lose a little faith in the turkey gods, who usually rain down such a bounty of celebrity baby photos and gravy.
Ah well. There’s always next year.
(Image: Beyonce’s Official Website)