• Thu, Nov 22 2012

Spoiler Alert: The Upcoming Holiday Feature Film Thanksgiving Day: The Movie

So you may or may not have heard about the upcoming holiday film Thanksgiving Day (The Movie) that we just totally made up. Following in the footsteps of other holiday themed blockbusters (New Years Day, Valentine’s Day, etc.), the film is said to have an all-star cast lined up.

Now that I’ve made your day by telling you this movie will probably be made, let me make it even better by letting you in on every bit of information regarding the movie I was able to glean from various dark corners of the interwebs.

The casts of hit sitcoms Modern Family and The New Normal will be teaming up this year for the some Turkey Day fun in Thanksgiving Day:The Movie. Joining the sitcom stars will be both Harold and Kumar (still on their way to White Castle) in this light-hearted holiday romp that takes place over the course of 24 hours on the third Thursday in November.

There will be a cameo by rapper Xzibit, of MTV’s Pimp My Ride fame, who will turn Harold and Kumar’s car into a Turkeymobile before sending them off to pick up the crave case.

For the fish out of water story line, Michael Pitt will play a dreamy eyed American in London, spending the holiday with his gay midget uncle (Peter Dinklage) and his retired rockstar/ex-spy lover (Liam Neeson).

Pitt’s character is in the UK because recent ex-girlfriend Natalie Portman no longer wants a committed relationship and would rather be friends with benefits/have no strings attached sex with Ashton Kucher, Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake. The foursome will eventually come to realize they’re all actually in love with each other after a tryptophan induced food coma (AKA the ‘itis, which will be explained later by a black and/or southern cast member) and decide to embark on fundamentalist Mormon influenced polyamorous romp in the Mexican desert with charismatic cult leader played by Robert Downey Jr.

The rest of the cast will be played by Eddie Murphy Tyler Perry Eddie Murphy and/or Tyler Perry.

With a story that includes love, lust, food, foursomes, fun, tiny tiny burgers, and of course, turkey, Thanksgiving Day: The Movie will probably be the blockbuster of the season. Or tank. But probably be the blockbuster of the season.

Now that’s something to be thankful for!

(GIF: Tumblr)

You can reach this post's author, Emma Bracy, on twitter.
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