While everyone you know starts preparing for the holiday season by camping out at Best Buy, you’re probably sitting at home preparing for another season. A season that’s clinically been proven more important than “the holiday season.” Obviously I’m referring to Oscar Season. It’s not only our longest season, but also the one that gives you the most opportunities to sounds pretentious when talking to your friends and family.
Yes, it’s no mistake that Oscar Season overlaps with Holiday Season. There’s no point in knowing more than everyone else if they don’t know you know more than them.
That’s where we come in with our Oscar Cheat Sheet. Inevitably conversation over the next few weeks will be about movies. More specifically, which movies are going to get Oscars. If you’re anything like me, you’ll run into a problem during this trying time of year. While you pride yourself on knowing more about movies than all your other friends who know about stupid things like politics and fiscals cliffs and tofurkey, you may not have a chance to see all the films you need to talk about.
Have no fear. We’ve come up with an opinion for the movies currently getting the most Oscar buzz. Just watch these trailers, memorize these lines and you’re set when it comes to sounding superior to everyone around you. Why, people might even call you a film critic.
Silver Linings Playbook
“Jennifer Lawrence totally deserves a best actress Oscar. She did such a good job and she dyed her hair super dark. She’s the best.”
“Did you know that this movie’s secretly about Scientology? They’ll deny it, but it totally is all about it. Speaking of Scientology, Kirstie Alley. What’s up with her!?”
“Sure Ben Affleck cast himself in the best role, but it’s a true story. But not in a Lifetime-y way. Just in a good way. Know what I’m saying?”
“Okay, think Pride & Prejudice with more trains. Are you thinking that? That’s the movie.”
Life of Pi
“Avatar? Try AvaSTUPID. Ang Lee shows Hollywood how to use 3D correctly.”