The Best And Worst Of Dexter: Everyone Wants An Argentina

This week’s episode of Dexter was packed with that poetic quality that Dexter does so well; there really should be an Emmy category for “best voiceover that ties various plots together,” and it should go to Michael C Hall every time. Like last week’s, it was pretty gripping, but it still had its highs and lows.

Just a couple of serial killers, having breakfast the morning after like two normal people. +1 for the nice tableau.

“I always eat breakfast, it’s important.” +5 for referencing the show’s grotesque opening sequence, which has ruined breakfast for so many people.

WHY IS DEB SO TAN? -1 for being distracting.

“The cops are dicks but they’re not morons.” Aren’t they? -1

“Is that your plan to keep Deb from going to the dark side? Massive sugar rush?” Oh Harry, you’re no good at being sassy. -1

“I’m not gonna stop seeing her just ’cause she’s a murderer.” FUCK YOU, DAD. +1

“I think you’d be surprised the things you don’t know about me.” -1 because Hannah should not be taunting the cops.

“You haven’t even begun to be sorry.” -1 for Deb taking this conversation to a very Mean Girls place.

Holy shit, it’s Astor and Cody! My, how you’ve grown! +1 for a good re-casting job Apparently the kids weren’t re-cast, they just got older on their own. +1 for letting time do the work.

Why would Dexter kill the assassin sent to kill Sirko? I know he wants to do it himself but that seems counterproductive. -1

There are ladies walking around Batista‘s restaurant in thong bikini bottoms. -1 because how is that not against the health codes?

Of course Astor turned into an overachieving teen pot smoker. +1 because I think those need to be better represented on TV.

Dude, guys, her mom was murdered. If you try to keep her from smoking pot, you are even worse narcs than I thought. -1

Hannah’s house is sooo Pottery Barn. +1 because a murderess would be into cute candleholders and such.

“So what’s got you so busy?” OMG, everything Hannah says still sounds so slutty. +1 because they are still in the honeymoon period when you want to fuck all the time, I suppose.

“What’s a booty call?” I don’t believe you that you don’t know what this commonly used phrase means, Dexter. -1

Aaaw, they’re trading murder tips. How sweet! +2

“Bloody hell,” Sirko says. We are never going to find out why he’s English, are we? -1

Is it just me or does the way Jamie bends over to get the sunscreen seem a bit gratuitous and long? -1

Of course Dexter is connecting with an angsty teen. +1

“Does Hannah fit into my family somewhere?” LOL no. -1

Once again, Deb is distractingly tan. -1

Aaaaand now Deb knows. “Being with Hannah is worse than being a killer?” “Yes! No!” Oh Deb. Make up your mind. -1

Is anyone else kind of annoyed when Jennifer Carpenter busts out the skills she acquired at the “gasp a lot school of acting like you’re crying”? -1

“What do you mean you’re in love with me?” Even Dexter knows this is a dumb plotline. +1

“You don’t even know how she wants you to feel, ya just left.” Ew, is Harry really talking about this with Dexter? -1

Isaak Sirko is getting advice from Dexter about whether or not to kill Dexter. THAT IS SO NEXT LEVEL. +1

“Maybe the heart is just wrong.” Dexter knows his heart is wrong and he is right about this. +1

“The best we can hope for is to find a place we don’t have to pretend.” Aw, being a serial killer is just like being a…gay serial killer. +1

“Under different circumstances we could have been great friends.” He said it again! That means he really means it! I am reeling from the tragic missed friendship opportunity. +3

Isaak outsmarts Dexter by saying his full name to the bartender. Tricky. +1

OMG Laguerta is closing in! +3 for successfully making me afraid for Dexter.



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    • Caitlin

      Though Cody was re-casted once or twice in the first few seasons, that WAS the actual Astor and the same Cody of the last 4 or 5 seasons.

      • Lindsay

        I was going to post that.

    • Tomalak Geret’kal

      Isaac told the bartender Dexter’s name for protection, which completely scuppered Dex’s plans. He couldn’t cause a murder scene and flee it incognito with his name attached to the joint.

      • jamiepeck

        Look at you, being more observant than me. That’s the last time I try to recap a show after a giant pre-Thanksgiving dinner.

      • Tomalak Geret’kal

        You were probably still thinking about Hannah. I forgive you.

    • nathanng

      Sirko sounds English because his dad sent him to England for boarding school when he pushed his music teacher down the stairs. Way back in Episode 3.

    • Johnny

      Everyone wants an Argentina,
      a place where the slate is wiped clean
      But the truth is, Argentina, is just Argentina
      No matter where we go,
      We take ourselves and our damage with us,
      So is home the place we run to,
      Or is it the place we run from?
      Only to hide out in places that we’re accepted unconditionally,
      Places that feel more like home to us
      Because we can finally be who we are.

      -Dexter Morgan

    • Nancy

      I was actually annoyed with her cry face at that exact moment! I love how emotional she is and her acting, but then I was just like, “Come on now, this face again?” But, I guess, to be fair, Deb would be going through a hell of a lot of emotional torment.

    • jane

      laguerta can go to hell. Sirko is English because his dad sent him to a boarding school there. I totally agree, debra just keeps getting tanner and tanner. And her gasp a lot when crying makes me so annoyed.