How Will Jessica Simpson Stay In The Spotlight Now That She’s Lost Her Baby Weight?

As you may have heard, Jessica Simpson has finally filmed her Weight Watchers commercial after five whole months of being super fat (fourteen if you count the months she was pregnant). A zoomed out picture posted to her Twitter yesterday appears to show her looking quite svelte while shooting the spot, even going so far as to wear pants (pants!):

But as glad as I am that Jessica Simpson achieved her money looks fitness goals, I worry: with this year-long coup of attention-getting behind her, how will J-Simp stay in the news now that she’s done incubating a baby and losing the resulting weight? Here are some suggestions I have for you, Jessica Simpson:

1. Have another baby. Better make it twins this time.

2. Gain all the weight back and lose it again, this time with Jenny Craig.

3. Start hanging out with Lindsay Lohan.

4. Come out of the closet. Surprise!

5. Release a sex tape with someone unexpected. Might I suggest a threesome with Kristen Stewart and Steve Buscemi?

6. Release a new sex tape for every ten pounds you gain and/or lose, ensuring that there’s something for everyone.

7. Start making music again smoking crack.

You’re welcome!

(Via E! Online)

Photos: @JessicaSimpson

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