• Tue, Nov 6 2012

Emma Stone Is So Patriotic She Shared Her Birthday With Election Day

Emma Stone is so patriotic, she decided to share her birthday this year with election day. Thank you, Emma. Very kind indeed. Since Emma’s the big 2-4 now, we all have at least one thing to celebrate. But depending on the outcome of tonight’s election (and your political affiliation), you might have to make your party a joint one.

Gearing up for tonight’s festivities, I thought it would fun to look back on some of Emma’s most memorable work. And since it is election day, I figured I’d make my own political predictions right here. Using Emma Stone movie characters. Think of this as preparation for the Emma Stone birthday party you’ll be attending later. Or as a way to get you pumped for voting.

 

 

Gwen Stacy in The Amazing Spiderman

Gwen Stacy’s dad is the chief of police, so she’s probably supposed to vote conservative. But she does dance with Peter Parker at a jazz club in The Amazing Spiderman, and doesn’t being a jazz fan say something about her political affiliations? Scat singing doesn’t really scream “conservative” to me. I think that Gwen Stacy is the kind of girl who would keep her voting booth decisions a secret; voting for Obama at the end of the day regardless of her father’s political ties.

 

Skeeter Phelan in The Help

While her society gal pals were dropping out of school to get married and/or pregnant, Skeeter Phelan actually completed her college education. That she didn’t have the same desire as her friends to fulfill her Southern Belle womanly duties definitely points to some outside-the-box thinking on Skeeter’s part. Add that to the fact that her expose on the help’s working conditions is writing for social change, and you’ve got the makings for conservative turned liberal by movie’s end. Skeeter Phelan would serve the GOP some poop pie in this election, by giving her vote to Obama.

 

 

Jules in Superbad


Jules: You scratch our backs, we’ll scratch yours.
Seth: Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that it’s located on my cock.

And Obama’s back is located in the election booth, where Jules would most definitely vote for the incumbent President. According to Seth (Jonah Hill), she has an impeccable dating record, including Dan Remmeck who’s “had a six pack since like kindergarten,” Jason Stone “who looks like fuckin’ Zack Morris,” and Matt Muer (staring into his eyes is like hearing The Beatles for the first time). Of course Jules’ voting would reflect the same sort of good decision making. She’s also sweet enough to give Seth a chance even though she’s super hot and he’s kind of fat (remember, Superbad was before Jonah Hill lost all that weight), so I’m pretty sure she’d give Obama a chance too—a chance to further prove himself by voting him in office for a second term. Not to mention that she seems like the kind of girl who doesn’t want her reproductive rights tampered with. Obama 2012.

 

Wichita in Zombieland

Wichita seems a little too Libertarian to vote for Obama at first. She definitely believes in personal sovereignty and gun toting, but who wouldn’t after a zombie apocalypse? Of course, the world being destroyed is enough to confuse anyone, politically I mean. At the end of the day, though, I think Wichita would vote Democrat. She just seems like the kind of lady who believes in climate change, and two terms in office. I’m going with my gut on this one, and my gut says Wichita is smart enough to realize that voting for Gary Johnson (the Libertarian contender) would just be pointless.

Olive in Easy A

Clean cut Olive certainly is a good little capitalist in Easy A. She uses the school’s rumor mill to advance her bank account and her social status. But while that behavior does kind of reek of a Republican in the making, I’m still gonna go with Democrat in the voting booth here. Olive’s got a gay best friend, is anti slut shaming, and is studying The Scarlet Letter (enough to make any woman think twice about the whole legitimate rape thing). Olive’s for Obama, all the way. I can’t say the same for her arch nemesis Marianne (Amanda Bynes) though. She’s a Jesus freak.

(Photos: Sean Thorton/WENN.com, Columbia Pictures Industries/SONY via IMDB.com, Tumblr.com, Sony Pictures Entertainment via Hotflick.net, Columbia TriStar via IMDB.com, Columbia TriStar via IMDB.com)

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  • Patty

    Could she be any more fabulous? Happy birthday Emma!

  • Mitch in Seattle

    Love Emma, dumb article though. So many false stereotypes types. I can only speak for myself, but my best friend is a gay republican ( has been since he was like 8), my sister is stay at home bare foot and pregnant (a staunch liberal Obama supporter), my wife is a middle manager (career women) at Norstrom who always votes republican and I play in a weekend band (no vocals please) who thinks O’l Barry is joke. So from my little world, everything written is stereotypically inaccurate . Do yourselves a favor and vote republican, next time, get off the Government teet and enjoy life.

    • Jenni

      You spelled teat wrong.

    • C.

      Wow Mitch we’re all so happy for you and all those people you know. Now do yourself a favour and google the word ‘sarcasm’