• Sat, Nov 3 2012

Tim Tebow Is Dating Camilla Belle, Who Used To Date Another Famous Virgin By The Name Of Joe Jonas

Joe and Camilla in 2009.

When you only date other celebrity virgins, your circle of potential mates is very small. Just ask Tim Tebow, of the New York Jets sports kickers (I’m really knowledgeable about sports), who recently went semi-public with his rumored girlfriend, actress Camilla Belle. Camilla is one of those women far classier than I, who has supposedly gotten all the way into her mid-twenties with her virginity intact, so she’s the perfect match for Tim, who has very publicly sworn not to have sex until marriage. Because of god and religion and whatnot. (I’m also very knowledgeable about faith-based religions.) Aside from her B-list movie projects, you probably also recognize Camilla’s name because she was linked to another famous virgin — one Joe Jonas, of the famously virginal Jonas Brothers. The two of them began dating in October 2008 and spent nine blissful months knitting and baking and singing campfire songs to each other, or whatever it is that two people do with each other when they’re committed to not putting things in each others’ holes. (Obviously I know a lot about virginity as well.)

But like all chaste, weird things, that relationship had to end, and thank the blessed football gods that it did, because it left our dear Camilla open to respectful, Tebowian advances from our hero Timothy. They both separately attended the Met Costume Gala in May of this year, and it’s possible that that’s where they met. regardless, they were spotted on October 31st on a date that included bowling and a movie. Oh cool, so if I’m ever wondering what two virgins do on a date, it’s just middle school stuff. So they maybe also braid each others’ hair and do science fair projects together and sit next to each other in homeroom.

But good for these two. I’m so glad these two sexless creatures found each other. I just hope that Camilla has enough of a servant’s heart to keep Tim happy and healthy and in good fighting shape so he can win lots of those touchdowns that his fellow Jetplayers need so desperately to win that big cup at the end of their kicking season.

I…yeah, I’m sorry.

(Image: WENN.com)

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  • Mrs.Nice

    Adriana lima, brooke shields, and jessica simpson is few women who successfully fullfilled their abstinence commitment yet it doesnt make them look less hot. Im pretty sure guy will still prefer being their friend rather than being your boyfriend even if you offering them limitless sex and bj. Dont humiliate yourself by trying to making fun people so out of your league.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Yes, many guy still prefer being their friend than being my boyfriend. I can find out why but not because I so out of my league.

  • Matt

    So many lesson here,its up to us what we want to learn. All i can fully understand is when you try to make people diss other people,youre the one who’s gonna get dissed =)

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      If you have accidentally gleaned any actual knowledge from this post, I have failed you as a writer, and I am sorry.

  • Pingback: Meet the Actress Tim Tebow Is Reportedly Dating – TheBlaze.com | Tim Tebow Mania

  • Jen

    After reading this, suddenly something come in mind.Whoever wrote this remind me of typical skank b*tch who never get tired bullying every girl in high school with less frequent sex than theirs.Thats not a good thing

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      I never get tired bullying. I stay awake all night bullying people with less frequent sexes than mines have.

  • http://twitter.com/bigbadbrif Jenn

    Memo to you – just because someone has never had sex, that doesn’t make them “sexless” in the sense in which you are insinuating. I myself am a virgin and have a high sex drive. I just choose to honor a promise made to myself over any desire to experience momentary physical gratification.

  • Monterey22

    Hmmm, if Tim Tebow is so weird, why do so many thousands of American women want to date him?

    If Camilla is so weird, why does a guy thousands of women want to date want HER?

    Just sayin’….