If you’re like most of the ladies in the United States, you dressed up like Honey Boo Boo this past Halloween. There are no facts or figures yet, because there’s no census that covers that data, so I’m just gonna go ahead and make up my own. I’m gonna say that approximately 31 – 89% of grown ass adults dressed up as Alana Thompson this year, as well they should have, since that is an awesome costume. Fergie was actually ahead of the curve for once, as she dressed up like a contestant from Toddlers and Tiaras last year. (She so 3008, we so 2000 and late.) What’s so great about the costume isn’t just that you get to wear a little skirt and petticoat and way too much makeup and hairspray, though. It’s also the mentality that comes with it. I know that if I were going as Honey Boo Boo, I would be all. Up. In that attitude. It’s the perfect excuse to go raging through a party with your alcoholic Go-Go Juice, showing the judges your belly and roaring at people who bore you.
But while you guys were out doing that, what was Alana herself dressed up as? She couldn’t go as herself, because she does that at every pageant she goes to. Instead, she went as…drumroll please…some sort of pirate? She has a black and pink striped wig with a hot pink and black dress, and it has a skull-and-crossbones on it, so I’m thinking pirate’s a safe bet. She also ate a bunch of candy, including lollipops, which are her favorite, according to TMZ.
Oh man. I just realized I know the favorite candy of a famous child beauty queen named Honey Boo Boo. Surely my brain has more important uses than to hold onto that information.
(Image: Josiah True / WENN.com)