Thank you Ellen DeGeneres for addressing the mind boggling conundrum that are undecided voters. It’s November 2nd and the presidential election’s a few days away. How do you not know now if you’re voting for President Barack Obama or Mitt Romney.
It’d be the equivalent of telling someone you can’t decide whether you want to watch Rock Center or Jersey Shore on Thursday night. They’re completely different shows. There’s no way you don’t have an opinion. Unless of course you don’t know anything about either one and simply just recognize the names. In that case you don’t deserve to own a TV. Or have an internet connection. Be off with you!
Ellen clearly agrees with me (and unlike most days, we didn’t even consult on this matter beforehand) because she delivers a more serious monologue than usual on her show today. Sure it’s still funny, but it’s laced with a little bit of anger toward these undecided voters, these 5% of Americans who just can’t make up their mind.
You know, these Americans:
While she doesn’t come right out and say “VOTE OBAMA!” she says enough that you know exactly who she’s endorsing. You know, the guy who cares about marriage equality and all that liberal jazz that gets us all excited here at Crushable.