Infamous With Taryn Southern is Crushable’s first YouTube series! Every week during the release of Taryn’s musical comedy album On My Face, she’ll be reporting on embarrassing celebrity moments from the trenches of her bedroom.
As a kid, I found farts hilarious. Perhaps it was growing up amidst the flatulence-saturated culture of Beavis and Butthead and Ren and Stimpy. Perhaps it was just because, frankly, I was a gassy kid (blame the daily diet of Froot Loops and Twinkies).
In “I Think I Farted,” which also stars YouTube stars Shane Dawson and Joe Nation, we took farts to the extreme—utilizing leaf blowers, hair dryers, smoke machines, and even clear spray to emulate the effervescent power of gas.
Seeing as how my new series for Crushable focuses on celebrities, and thus, celebrity farting habits, I was forced to do some research. Unfortunately, very few A-listers speak about “breaking wind,” unless of course, they are comedians. It was time to get creative and put that college degree to good use. Based on my knowledge of celebrity behavior, and my own personal history of gastrointestinal issues, which celebs do I hypothesize to pass the most powerful/unique gas?
You’ll have to watch the video to see this list of presumed infamous celebrity farters, and trust me, you won’t want to miss my carefully placed simulations of their presumed flatulence. But there are still a number of celebs who, at the very least, deserve honorable mention.
I give you, my (presumptuous) Honorable Mentions for Infamous Celeb Farters:
10. Nicki Minaj: Cute and poppy like a child, until she hits you with a BOOM. Like an old man going back for a third helping at the local buffet, her farts have been known to scare small children and Taylor Swift.
9. Kanye West: Not surprisingly, he’s rumored to be a real butt trumpet. Always interrupting other people’s gas. Good thing this isn’t an actual awards show.
8. Kate Middleton: A quiet, stately poof, as characteristic of the other royals. Known to leave a trail of princess fairy dust.
7. Drew Barrymore: One-cheek wonder. She sports the classic one butt cheek raise, letting out a slow sizzle.
6. Morgan Freeman: People gather from near and far to hear Morgan’s ripe, rich, soothing bellows. Some swear they’re holy.
To see my final five, you’ll just have to watch the video! If you’re still confused, just click here to understand what kind of twisted mind gives birth such a vivid (and foul) imagination. Until next week!
Taryn Southern is an actress, writer, and web star with more than 100 million views on her online videos. She just released her debut comedy album, On My Face, and will be releasing a series of music videos on her channel, which correspond with the themes of her column on Crushable. Her co-writer for this column/video, Rhea Bozzacchi, is a writer/director/editor that can only hope this isn’t her last piece on farting. She can usually be found roaming the streets of Chicago or LA, gushing over My So-Called Life or debating whether “labia” is a gross or pretty word.