Everyone has that one friend who insists on throwing a themed Halloween party, as if “Halloween” wasn’t enough of a theme already. And if your friends are as Bravo obsessed as we are at Crushable, there’s a good chance you got invited to approximately 6-8 Real Housewives of New Jersey themed Halloween parties.
While you may be thinking, “I don’t know anyone throwing a Real Housewives of New Jersey Halloween party,” that’s not an excuse to skip these easy Halloween costumes. Mostly because these costumes give you an excuse to act like a crazy person all night. Everyone knows that 90% of a good Halloween costume is staying in character all night. So why not pick a character who only gets more fun as you get more drunk.
Freaking out over the prospect of dressing like you’re from New Jersey? Remain calm because I have you covered with last minute Halloween costume ideas that will impress everyone. These incredibly easy Halloween costumes will cost you nothing — except your pride.
If you’re looking to cause drama at your Halloween party simply for the sake of being in the middle of a scandal, then this costume’s for you! Step 1: Cut your hair. Step 2: love your first born more than your other two children. 3. Instigate drama all night and then step away like you have no idea what’s happening or why someone’s being burned at the stake.
If the thought of going to bed early sounds more appealing than going to a Halloween party, then you’re going to want this snooze-friendly costume. Dress normally, tease your hair and then fall asleep in the middle of the party just when things start to get exciting.
Ashley Holmes & Ashlee Holmes
Couples costume alert! This costume’s super easy as long as you have no problem wearing a hat all evening and acting incredibly entitled. You both need to make sure to stay in character all evening by pushing people in line, complaining about the free drinks not being the kind of free drinks you like and making high-pitched noises when anyone uses the word “job.”
Is your loved one not loving this costume? That’s fine. Bring a laptop instead and just open up Skype. Then you can be Ashley Holmes from New Jersey and Ashlee Holmes from L.A.
Are you the kind of person who likes to make parties all about you. PERFECT! This costume just needs a formal dress and an informal attitude toward logic. Make sure to spend the night screaming, crying, flipping over tables and feigning ignorance when your significant others cheats on you with the girl dressed as Sex-ay Kim G.
The “Joe Giudice” costume works best if you’re planning on being an incoherent asshole all night. Make sure to pregame heavily so your speech is so slurred that no one really understands if you’re saying “I need a cup” or a “I need a cunt.” When getting dressed for the night, think minimally. Try baggy jorts and a white tank top. Feeling crafty? How about a few tattoos. Feeling too human-like? Practice walking like a neanderthal. Your key word of the evening is squat. Just be squat.
Look in your closet and ask yourself, “what do I own that a barbie would also own?” Wear that. Make a microphone out of tinfoil and dreams, then spend all night singing your heart out. Worried this won’t be enough to impress people? Fear not! This costume can easily go from loving mother to alleged stripper if your dress unzips easily enough.
Wear nothing. Release poison often.
(Photos: Bravo TV)