You have a gambling problem. Possibly an alcohol problem, too.
You like to do things for attention. If they're fun for you, then all the better, but the attention's the important part. Lesbians probably dislike you.
You date dudes who wear tight pants, guyliner, and too many necklaces, and then complain when they don't text you back because they're too busy playing guitar in the mirror. You think having a gay friend makes it okay to use oppressive language because "gay" and "homosexual" are totes not the same thing. You don't know how to pronounce "Mozart."
He isn't "hot n cold," he's just not that into you, but feels awkward rejecting you explicitly. Also, you have terrible gaydar.
You have a gambling problem. Possibly an alcohol problem, too.
You have a sexual fetish for sweet desserts and are possibly a "feeder." You enjoy the lesser work of Snoop Dogg. You get a creepy thrill from hearing 7-year-olds sing lyrics they do not fully understand the sexual connotations of.
You are a misunderstood LGBT teen whose parents won't let you listen to Lady Gaga. You may also be a bit of a pyromaniac.
You lost your virginity with Avatar playing in the background, and now you can't get off unless aliens are somehow involved.
You are a huge fan of cheesy '80s celebrities. You want to bring back the music video as sweeping artistic statement. You were never a nerd, but you like to wear the big, prescription-less, retro, nerd glasses they sell at American Apparel.
You have a total identity crisis each time someone breaks up with you. You think Barack Obama's extrajudicial "kill list" is totally justified, as are his drone attacks on Pakistani civilians.
You peaked in high school.
