We all knew there’d come a time when we’d have to destroy smartphones. And we all guessed it would have to do with Kim Kardashian falling in love with Kanye West. But no one ever imagined that things would get this bad, this quickly. That we’d have to channel our inner Kris Jenner and just get down to business.
The business, of course, being the destruction of all smartphones. Every single one. Clearly we let ourselves get carried away with technology to the point that it’s come to this — and now it’s time to pay for our sins.
To pay for KimYe, this mockery of an app. This insult to phones everywhere, from wireless to rotary to the abandoned pay phones covered in human excrement.
Yes, a simulated dating game for Kim Kardashian and Kanye West exists. You can “live the life of the world’s most-followed couple in this outrageously hilarious and addicting celebrity dating simulator. Play as Kanye as you woo Kim and win her heart. Fight against the onslaught of other suitors vying for her attention asyou take her on dates, buy her creative gifts, while managing your own busy career. Time is of the essence!—you only have 72 days to win her heart. Don’t get Humphried!”
How did we let thing happen? How did we turn a blind eye when this couple started dating? At a time when we could have tweeted enough to break them up and delay the inevitable decay of society, we decided to let them to be free. To let them stare into the mirrors of their souls and find happiness within each other.
This won’t end well for us.