As you may have heard, Taylor Swift‘s record label is hoping to beef up (or should I say…pepperoni up?) sales of her new album Red with a very special promo with Papa John’s Pizza. For just $22, you can order a physical copy of the album along with a large one-topping pizza and have yourself a Taylor Swift listening party (friends optional). But as much as I am planning to throw a Tay Swift listening party of one tonight, something seems a bit muddled here. I have some questions for you, Papa John’s Taylor Swift Pizza Party Promo.
-I’m thinking this is a Lady Gaga-esque attempt to artificially inflate album sales and push Red to number one. But unlike Gaga’s dirt cheap promotional downloads, the CD costs $9 to add to your order. I just saw it for sale on Amazon for $9.99, and you don’t have to order a pizza to get it. Is Tay Swift scared Lady Gaga will come after her if she’s too good at stealing her strategy?
-We live in the age of mp3s, where iTunes sales count just as much as CD sales. Do the teens of today even know what to do with a compact disc? Or will they try to cram it into their iPods and Zunes?
-How did this promotion even come about? Is Taylor Swift fucking Papa John?
-If so, will the world soon get an angry kiss-off song about him called “Take Another Little Pizza My Heart”?
-Or perhaps the decision was influenced by Tay Swift’s high school aged boyfriend when Taylor decided to do a little demographic research with him about what kinds of foods teenagers like to purchase?
-Does Taylor Swift dip her crusts in that disgustingly delicious “garlic sauce,” or discard them like so many painful memories?
-Does she show off to her friends by eating the pepperoncini, or does she leave it sitting there by itself like a sad reminder of all that could have been?
Feel free to speculate freely about all of these.
Photo: Papa John’s