[Edited because she's apparently 9 and not 13. Making me even more jealous of her charisma and cuteness.]
I’m forever looking for proof that beautiful celebrities weren’t always beautiful. Just a sign that I could go to bed looking like Mia Thermopolis and wake up looking like Charlize Theron’s gorgeous half-sister.
So when I saw that the Lisa Frank vaults opened up to share this magical 1993 Mila Kunis commercial with us, I felt a ray of hope piercing through my hardened heart, a sign that my dreams could still come true. After all, she’s 9 in this video. All 9-year-olds are weird and goofy and on the edge of being an official tweenager. That’s why people don’t talk about fourth grade fondly.
If Mila could survive being an awkward 9-year-old Lisa Frank model, then I could overcome my two rounds of braces to wake up tomorrow with Emma Watson’s face. Why, it isn’t so far-fetched that I too could date Demi Moore’s ex-husband one day.
I excitedly clicked on this video. Just so ready to see a more famous version of my tweenage self starring back at me.
But instead it’s still Mila Kunis. She’s shorter and she’s younger and her fashion tastes are incredibly questionable — but she’s still Mila Kunis. A completely flawless 9-year-old who’s only crime is spending her allowance on the crimping machine she saw advertised during a TGIF infomercial.
Dammit to hell, I will forever be a Pepper Ann in a world of Ashleys.