Think you memorized every inch of Harry Styles‘ body? Think again. E! reports that the One Direction singer showed up to a radio station with an assortment of new tattoos. While I’m sure they make loads of sense to him, I’m completely baffled by his choices.
Let’s run through the four newbies: the phrases “things I can” and “things I can’t,” a small key, two zigzags and the 99 pence sign. Despite rereading key passages from The Da Vinci Code, I can’t make heads or tails of these. Is it a treasure map? TO HIS HEART? DOES THE KEY OPEN HIS HEART?!
Oh, I don’t know. But I suppose I would file that under “things I can’t.” That’s where that tattoo would come in handy. You know, just to keep a running list of things I can’t do, can’t figure out, can’t understand.
It would be a handy running list to have whenever I felt good about myself.
But even though I can’t figure out the meanings behind these mysterious new tattoos, I do know one thing. (File under things I can) Or I think I know one thing. (Cue the music right??) Harry Styles’ might like tattoos more than sex.
I know, I know, this is a bold allegation. One that could change the course of his career, possibly even the course of British history. But now that he has 24 tattoos, it had to be said.
The man who we came to know and love for his dalliances with older ladies seems to be more in tattoos than sex lately. Unless, of course, someone has evidence that he had sex 5 times on the night he got these 4 tattoos.
Then I will change my theory and completely rework it so that it makes sense.