• Wed, Oct 17 2012

Thank God Victoria Beckham Is Finally Making Harper Get Exercise

There’s something so frightening about parents who think their children are perfect. Ever since Victoria Beckham birthed Harper Seven Beckham, I feared she’d be one of those overindulgent mother who would let Harper lounge around during her toddler years, drinking from juice boxes and playing with toys.

But thankfully she pulled her act together and got Harper on the right path before it was too late. With the whole-hearted approval of her husband David Beckham, Vicki enrolled 15-month-old Harper in dance classes. It’s never too soon to start building muscle strength in baby legs and developing discipline in baby minds. I bet Harper will think twice now before she reaches for that dessert, especially after she sees herself in the mirror doing arabesques in her form fitting leotard.

Our good friends across the pond at The Sun spoke to someone who spoke to someone else who knows a guy who met this girl and they have the following information at their disposal:

Victoria and husband David signed her into a nearby school so that she’ll be doing Spice-Girls-style high-kicks in time for her second birthday.

A source said: “Victoria and David have got all their children into hobbies at a very young age.

“The boys have been kicking footballs about since they could walk so it made sense to get Harper into dancing.

“Plus, Victoria thinks she’ll look cute in dance outfits in the school’s end-of-term shows.”

While some people may think that 15-months is too young to be getting involved in dance classes, I think it’s almost too late. While I’m no child development expert, I did see the documentary Baby Geniuses and I like to think I know a think or two about the way babies work.

That’s why I feel comfortable saying that babies should be signed up for extracurriculars as soon as their lungs take their first fresh breath of human air. Muscles don’t develop themselves and it’s really only giving children a disadvantage to act like they need to be able to walk to play a sport.

After all, I think we all know that the best athletes got their start before they got weaned from their mother. And that’s why from breast to best is a popular saying in locker rooms across the country. Or so I heard in my support group for children who’s parents pushed them so little and so late that they turned into bloggers.

(Photo: PacificCoastNews.com)

 

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  • Peony

    jenni,i think you rock!i had a blast reading this article.

    • Jenni

      Thank you! Wouldn’t be possible without Harper!

  • http://www.facebook.com/Compasion Janice Compasion Cedeno

    It’s more than obvious that you know nothing about kids from this article. There’s nothing wrong with the way Harper looks. She’s a baby for goodness sakes. Making comments about desserts and her weight are reasons why children develope insecurities.

    • Jenni

      I actually know a lot about kids. For example, they’re shorter than me and they move slower than me and their vocabulary leaves something to be desired.

    • http://www.facebook.com/Compasion Janice Compasion Cedeno

      The response I was expecting. Thank you.

    • Jenni

      You’re welcome!

    • f

      your vocabulary does too

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      *you’re
      Because it’s supposed to be ‘you are’ vocabulary, right?

  • http://www.facebook.com/katgautreaux Kat Gautreaux

    Wow. This is a weirdly angry, sarcastic piece about a mom sending her daughter to a fun class. I have a gorgeously chunky 15-month-old who I’d love to send to dance class … because she would freaking LOVE it. Any chance my kidlette gets to dance and move and jump she takes it. It isn’t about body image ALL the time, ya’ll.

    • http://www.facebook.com/Compasion Janice Compasion Cedeno

      Exactly!!!!

  • Britany

    You are a fucking moron that should never write another article about a baby again. You are not a child expert. Saying things like, “I bet Harper will think twice now before she reaches for that dessert, especially after she sees herself in the mirror doing arabesques in her form fitting leotard.” just show your children are probably going to end up with serious body issues and probably an eating disorder. You are nowhere near a child expert, especially since you don’t have a child. You’re just an idiot.

    • Jenni

      Well that’s a sore subject. I HAD children. Until that fateful day at the mall. You turn your head for 8 hours while you try on shoes and test out new perfume….and they run away.

  • ashley

    Dear fellow mamas – I don’t think this piece is literally about a 15 month old’s weight, so let’s not bring out the crazy on Jenni here. Besides, all mamas know that toddler dance classes aren’t really about dance, so much as they are kids running in circles and rolling on the floor.

    • Jenni

      Where did you come from and how can I convince you to stay?

  • http://thekimberlydiaries.com/ the kimberly diaries

    I cracked up when I saw the headline alone

  • Pingback: Buzz Hollywood: Celebrity News and Gossip: Harper Beckham to enroll in dance classes – IBNLive

  • Lacy

    The ‘wooshing’ sound that you bitches are hearing is the joke going over your heads.

    I mean really…