As always, last night’s Watch What Happens Live had an odd assortment of guests: The Hills‘ Lauren Conrad and Real Housewives of New York City‘s LuAnn de Lesseps joined Andy Cohen in the Bravo clubhouse to gossip about pirate hook-ups and questionable beauty secrets. Though both guests are reality TV stars, this could be the first time that LC and LuAnn would have ever hung out. I have no doubt that LC knew who LuAnn was, but I wasn’t sure about vice versa.
LuAnn wasn’t that interesting, spouting out the usual “darling”s, and of course it was fun to hear “Money Can’t Buy You Class” played as we went into commercial break. But LC was just so darn charming. I can be kinda cynical about how much Lauren is manipulating headlines to cement her post-Hills transition, but I gotta give her props for keeping up with Andy and LuAnn when she was so obviously out of her element. As I remember, The Hills After-Show didn’t start til after LC left the show, so she wasn’t used to this three-ring circus around reality TV.
When Andy asked if she were scared to come to the clubhouse, she responded, ”I wasn’t scared, but my publicist was like, ‘Don’t fire me after!’” That even got a surprised laugh out of the Bravo exec, and I do think he was pretty gentle with Lauren when it came to the WWHL shenanigans, it being her first time and all. Oh, and when he asked “I can call you LC, right?” and she giggled and said, “Sure you can,” it was cute.
First off, he had Lauren — an aspiring fashion, beauty, and relationship guru — spout off on the various beauty procedures that the Housewives have undergone. I wrote down almost every one of her responses, because they were great:
- When talking about Spanx for men and women: ”I will double up on Spanx!” (Andy didn’t believe her.)
- The look on her face when she saw one of the women get Botox!
- Turns out LC likes herself a little but of a mummy body wrap: “It’s temporary, but it’s great. You lose like three pounds!”
- Re: Kim Zolciak‘s extensive wig collection: ”I don’t know. I wore wigs on Halloween, but not day-to-day.”
- Another great face when she saw one of the Housewives pole dancing.
- Then they showed the “bio sculpting” cellulite treatment, which both Ramona Singer and Kim Kardashian have shown us via reality TV: ”I’ve done these too!”
LC was equally delightful for Plead the Fifth:
1. Marry, Shag, Kill: Justin Bobby, Spencer Pratt, Brody Jenner. “Can I kill myself?” she laughed, but ultimately she plead the fifth.
2. What do you really think about Heidi Montag‘s plastic surgery? “Well, that’s just unkind. I thought that she was beautiful before, I don’t think she needed it. But, personal decision.”
3. Say three nice things about Kristin Cavallari: “She’s really good at losing baby weight. That’s true! She… is a very pretty girl. And… [pause] there’s lots of nice things, I was just trying to get more specific. She dresses really nicely.”
“Now do you regret being on the show?” Andy asked after Lauren successfully pinned the tail on the random model dressed as a pirate. “Nooo,” she laughed. But when asked if she’ll go back to reality TV, she firmly said, ”I don’t have any plans to. I mean, you never say never, but at the moment I’m happy not.”
I would, however, like to see her hang out with Andy again and look confused by the state of reality TV today.