Hey everyone, it’s the Fab Five! Remember them? Yeah, the five perfect beings — McKayla Maroney, Kyla Ross, Gabby Douglas, Aly Raisman, Jordyn Wieber – who worked and struggled and trained and have been doing push-ups since they were fetuses to bring our country home a gold medal? The teenagers who can do things you would pull a muscle even thinking about? The girls that captured your hearts and attention for about three weeks until you dropped them like the attention-span deficient Americans you are. Shame.
Well, in conjunction with the release of 25 Crushable Girls Under 25 we thought it was high time for a reminder of the beauty, the strength, the athleticism, the facial expressions, the rock-hard-ness, of our favorite Olympians, as can only be done through GIFs. You know, just a few GIFS to help you understand how they got #13 on the list.
Before we begin, may I just say that even though the girls didn’t end up taking my advice about rocking the leotards on the regs (I still say if you got it flaunt it), it seems clear that they picked up some style tips along their long press tour. But that’s material for a whole other post.
Now time for some Fierce Five magic.
I mean hey, might as well start with the big guns right? Although I know we all got more than a little preoccupied with her unimpressed face and how beautiful she looks after surgery (particularly irritating after looking at myself in the mirror after a minorly invasive procedure today), this right here is what made her a star. These are three seconds that make McKayla Maroney a world-class gymnast, a member of the gold medal team, and a champion. This feat, and this feat alone, earned her a spot on the team, because it’s just that good.
So good, it made a judge do this:
*Hint: They don’t usually do that.
The only thing we can definitively conclude from this GIF is that this definitely isn’t hard at all. It can’t be. Because all-around individual gold medalist and super smiler Gabby Douglas looks like she might as well be strolling through…fields of whatever they grow in Iowa, as opposed to, you know, sticking a difficult jump right into a backflip on a beam my feet are too big to even fit on.
I hate to shortchange my girl Aly Raisman. She’s been my favorite from the beginning — the perfect combination of uber-focused dedicated team captain and adorable doe-eyed teenager who honestly can’t believe she’s at the Olympics. Even in the post-Olympic world, Ally strikes that precarious balance between just being a little kid and walking around like she’s fricken’ Adriana Lima (I’m looking at you McKayla). And yet, it would be a travesty to not include these classic reactions by her deeply caring or psychotic parents. I hit rewind on this ish so many times, and now thanks to GIFmakers everywhere, I don’t have to!
Well, if the combination of these two images doesn’t make your heart break under the weight of the demolished crumbling fragments of your childhood dreams, you either have no soul or don’t obsessively pull metaphors from things like some people who definitely aren’t me. Granted, World Champion Jordyn Wieber has probably accomplished more in 17 years than most of us will in a lifetime, so she’ll probably be okay. But still, how sweet-sad is this?? Lylas girlfriend.
Now that this has induced a casual hypnosis for a solid three and a half minutes, let’s talk about Kyla Ross. Know why she looks like a little kid? Because she is. Kyla is a mere 15 years old. Actually this just in, her sweet 16 is in less than a week, so she’s basically definitely pretty much like an adult now. Jokes. While most soon-to-be 16-year-olds were, in their infinite wisdom and life experience, deciding who they should dedicate candles to and why, Kyla was being one of the most consistent contributing members of Team USA. Nerves? Nah. Lack of focus? Not her thing. A bad day? I don’t think so.
(Featured Photo: B. Dowling/WENN.com)