Scarlett Johansson Breaks Up With Boyfriend, Proves Celebrities Can’t Date Normals

In the recent trend of everyone breaking up with everyone, Scarlett Johansson broke up with her ad executive boyfriend Nate Naylor. While this has only been confirmed to Us Weekly by a source so far, we’re guessing it’s only a matter of time before a close friend who wishes to remain nameless steps up and validates the claim.

As much as I wish for the best for ScarJo and Normal Nate,  I knew this would happen. To quote my good friends, the Winslows, “it’s a rare condition, this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper page. Love and tradition of the grand design, some people say it’s even harder to find.”

Or I guess, what I’m trying to say is that it’s very rare to see a celebrity/non-celebrity couple make it. How can a celebrity understand the demands of a Monday-Friday job? How can a non-celebrity understand the importance of finding a good personal assistant to schedule their touch-up plastic surgery?

Sure Drew Barrymore and Anne Hathaway made it trendy to marry non-celebs, but they’re testing boundaries that probably shouldn’t be tested. Who knows if those marriages can withstand years of the non-celebrity being referred to as  a non-celebrity in assorted entertainment blogs. I know I personally couldn’t take it. It’s why I turned down T.J. Detweiler THREE times.

So while ScarJo may be going through some rough times right now, she should rest assured that there’s a celebrity out there who’s a better fit for her. One who doesn’t ramble on about advertisements all the time and other executive type things.

And Nate Naylor, you can call me. I’m open to the idea of publishing an exclusive interview about what it’s like to date Ryan Reynold’s first wife. I’d love your opinion on his marriage to Blake Lively and how she compares to your now ex-girlfriend. Also pop-up ads. Yay or nay?

(Photo: PacificCoastNews.com)

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