As If Emma Watson Didn’t Already Have It All, She’s Now Being Stalked By A Fan

Every day I wake up and ask myself why Emma Watson has so much more than me. A successful acting career, a Lancome modeling contract, Tom Felton’s phone number, a believable British accent and the ability to pull off short hair. Simply put, it’s not fair.

And to make matters even worse, she now has her hands on this fall’s hottest accessory: a mentally-unbalanced and possibly emotionally-disturbed stalker.  Do you know how hard it is to find a good stalker these days? Nearly impossible now that they’re so in demand by all the A-List celebrities.

According to our friends at The Daily Mirror, Emma Watson ran into a familiar face while on the set of Noah this weekend. Familiar mostly because he’s stalked her in the past. While at first I’m sure she was all like, “remind me how I know you again? Nursery school? Hogwarts? The Vanity Fair post-Oscars party?” she quickly realized exactly how she knew him.

He handed her a heartfelt letter that I’m sure outlines his favorite scenes from Fifty Shades of Grey and why he thinks she should play Anastasia Steeleand she thanked him for this lovely gesture by screaming.

He responded by running off into the woods  and hiding there. Unfortunately his hiding skills aren’t anywhere as good as his stalking skills and he quickly got caught.

While he apparently got a stern talking to about trespassing on movie sets, we’re sure this isn’t the last we’ll hear of him. After all, every A-list celebrity needs an A-list stalker — and I think this guy has what it takes to break onto secure sets all over this country.

(Photo: Optic Photos,


Share This Post:
    • The mini politician

      It is disgusting to write that! Emma Watson would feel scared.GOD! Get a life, instead of ruining other peoples!!!!

      • Jenni

        Why does everyone keep telling me to get a life? It’s like they’re soooo easy to find. I don’t even know where one would begin to look for a life.

      • abbeysbooks

        Inside yourself.

      • Jenni

        X-rays are so expensive!

      • abbeysbooks

        You said, I said. Not expensive, just time consuming.

    • Johanna Krause

      First off, I am in love with everything you write. I might even go so far as saying that I stalk your blogs. Second, it is very sad how few people understand sarcasm and satire these days. Whatever schools they go to are doing a terrible job.

      • Jenni

        A real stalker! I feel like such a celebrity right now that I could get drunk, go out driving and get arrested.

    • C.

      Can I be your stalker as well? I tried Angelina Jolie, but kids scare the crap out of me. And she has like 10 of those.

      • Jenni

        Zahara actually scares me. She’s developed quite the stink eye for a young child.