Last night’s VP debate between Joe Biden and
Eddie Munster Paul Ryan finally gave us the rock ‘em sock ‘em celebrity cat fight Romney and Obama denied us because they were both too busy trying to seem “presidential.” They talked about foreign policy, domestic programs, and even women’s rights, for a second. But the most important issue that has yet to be resolved is: how will last night’s debate be parodied this weekend on SNL? Here are a few humble guesses.
1. Was Biden high, or do questions about the war in Afghanistan simply give him the giggles? Either way, I’m sure SNL will come up with some sordid explanation for his mirth.
2. The way Biden kept saying “friend” when he really meant “asshole.” Perhaps he’ll start alternating it with other terms of endearment?
3. The beans. Oh, the beans. Ryan’s explanation for his anti-choice stance (“I think fetuses are cute like beans, so no abortion for you”) made the least sense of anything that was said last night. Maybe SNL could have him try to outlaw burritos?
4. Jesse Pinkman will make an appearance to help explain the air tight logic behind Ryan’s anti-choice stance. “SCIENCE, BITCH!”
5. Drunk uncle Biden will give Ryan a noogie like the disrespectful little boy he is.
6. Ryan’s eye contact with the camera will be even more uncomfortable that it was in real life.
7. The real Eddie Munster will make an appearance to accuse Ryan of tarnishing his image.
8. Joe Biden will interrupt Paul Ryan, and then Kanye West will interrupt both of them. “Imma let you finish, but FDR was the best president of all time!”