Taylor Swift Pinky Swears On Her Petticoat That She Didn’t Kidnap Her Boyfriend

Remember that time Taylor Swift got accused of kidnapping her high school boyfriend Conor Kennedy? No? Me either. And that’s surprising because I’m always the one hopping on the Taylor Swift Accusation Train (making stops at every boarding school along the East Coast, with a quick lunch break on the 3rd floor of Hell.)

Like if there’s a hint of a sliver of a rumor with a slight lining of truth, I’m the girl on the metaphorical megaphone proudly sharing it with the world. So I’m just mad at myself that I missed something as exciting as a kidnapping scandal. These kind of stories are my bread and butter and every day I wake up hoping that a young starlet got accused of a felony overnight.  (I’m sorry, let me clarify, a young starlet not named Lohan or Bynes because b-o-r-i-n-g.)

According to an interview with Taylor Swift in the upcoming Rolling Stone, she did get accused by the media of using a private jet to kidnap her boyfriend. Because I suppose the media that she’s referring to lives in the plot of a Richie Rich movie.

“How did I kidnap him?” she responds. “You can’t kidnap a grown man! These are serious accusations, now! It’s an interesting way to spin something into a story. See, this is why I don’t read stuff.”

Yes Taylor, kidnapping’s a very serious accusation. Right in between murder and being proud that you don’t read stuff. In fact it’s one of the 600 accusations that can land you a Lifetime movie with your name in the title. Or even a “ripped from the headlines” episode of Law & Order: SVU, so yes, very serious indeed.

Thankfully we’ve cleared up this  particular accusation before it got to that point. I just don’t know if next time we’ll be so lucky. Especially if she uses her chartered yacht to take Conor hostage in the night right before his final exams.

(Photo: Will Alexander / Stuart Castle / WENN.com)

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    • http://www.facebook.com/seriouslydude Carolina Cornejo

      i think this article is lame, once again jenni ( which is not how the name is spelled) is a huge FAIL

      • Jenni

        Upon further consideration I also find this article lame, once again Carolina (which is exactly how the name is spelled. Seriously. Very good job spelling your name correctly! Not everyone can do that. Just take me for example. I mean, until I saw your comment I never even spell checked my own name. Sometimes I don’t even know why I even try) is very right in her analysis. Thanks for reading!