When I wrote about all the ways Dexter‘s seventh season premiere demonstrated the show’s shark-jumping last week, a Showtime rep was all like “give this season a chance,” which made me feel kind of guilty. And you know what? I still like this show enough to watch it even if I wasn’t writing about it, which is more than I can say for most TV that goes in my eye holes these days. So from now on, I’m going to recap it in a more fair and balanced way based on points and deductions, because much like Debra Morgan, it’s a mixed bag of goodness and stupidity. Never let it be said that bloggers are not open to constructive criticism.
-1: You know that TV cliche where someone gets so upset they throw up? Despite having a lot of upsetting things (as well as gross things!) on it, Dexter has steered clear of this silliness until now. (Correct me if I’m wrong.) Deb didn’t throw up when her dad died, when her boyfriend got shot right in front of her, or when her fiance almost murdered her, so why start now?
+1: In reference to Dexter’s “dark passenger”: “You gave it a name? Seriously? Ugh.” Dexter’s insane inner monologue does sound a lot dumber when someone says it out loud.
+1: “I am the worst fucking detective in the world. You’re my own brother, how could I not see what you were doing?” You said it, not me.
+1: Deb punching Dexter is unexpected but appropriate.
-1: Deb thinks she can singlehandedly cure Dexter’s lifelong murder addiction by keeping an eye on him and talking it out. Oh, Deb.
+1: “What if dad had taught you how to quit? Instead of learning to live with it?” THANK YOU. Harry was the worst fucking father.
-2: Is that stripper seriously interested in Detective Dirtbag? -1 for being unrealistic, and -1 more for all the gross cops who are going to try to hit on strippers as a result of this.
+1: Of course the repentant murderer hates urban sprawl and loves Frosty Swirl ice cream. He is a symbol of Dexter’s humanity.
+2: As silly as the international crime ring plot may be, I must say I like this new English villain’s calm-yet-menacing style.
+1: Okay, maybe I underestimated Louis. The way he waves his disobedience in Dexter’s face is kind of chilling, especially when he messes up Harrison‘s hair, and it’s a nice shout out to the show’s large nerd fan base that there’s finally a supernerd antagonist.
+1: Dexter outsmarts Deb once again by drugging her steak and then pretending to call her for help. (He was never going to kill Louis, as he fails to satisfy Harry’s code. They kind of played it like he was, but I’ll leave it alone for now.) And despite answering her escaped serial killer brother’s call through a groggy haze, she doesn’t put two and two together and realize she’s been drugged. Classic Deb.
+1: Screwdriver through the fucking eye! That’s harsh, but you knew it was coming. The dapper criminal’s manservant wiping off the fingerprints for him was a nice touch. This is a ruthless allegoric representation of the 1% we are dealing with.
-1: “I’m never gonna be normal, Deb,” Dexter says, to which she replies, “None of us are.” Um, I’m not sure if Dexter’s homocidal brand of weirdness is comparable to that of the average eccentric cat lady.
+2: The comparisons the repentant murderer Randall brings up are interesting. Dexter thinks he kills himself because he couldn’t change what he was, but doesn’t the fact that he felt guilty mean he changed at least a little? Or maybe it’s best to be “all or nothing” when you’re a serial killer; feeling guilty without being able to quit is not going to help matters much.
TOTAL: +7. Not too shabby.