• Sat, Oct 6 2012

Happy Naked Weekend, Rihanna, We’ve Been Expecting You

Is there something in the air, or something? Because I feel like almost every post I’ve written so far this weekend has been nudity related. It could be me going through something, or it could be the celebrities. Let’s blame the celebrities. There was Hulk Hogan and his newly-released sex tape, Sofia Vergara getting almost nakey to get painted on and photgraphed in the name of art, and then there was Kim Kardashian, who was born naked and came into her fame exactly the same way. And as we all know, if you say ‘naked’ three times in a row, Rihanna appears, so it should come as no surprise that she unveiled an ad for her new perfume, Nude, today via Twitter. And in it she’s wearing…drum roll please…next to nothing!

Listen, I love me some Rihanna as much as the next drag queen, but I also don’t need up-to-the-minute reports on her life, her tattoos, and her celebrity mini-feuds. I am mostly just in this for the music, to be honest. Also I don’t need any more reminders that I should be at the gym instead of on my couch, so kindly stop flashing your lady-bits at me over the inter-webs. I mean it’s a great picture. Because of course it is. And the next one will be great too, and the next one, and the next one, and on into infinity until she’s a decrepit robo-popstar like Madonna and she can drape her wrinkly old teats around her shoulders like a circle scarf.

But that day is very far off, so until then, I advise you to stay on the internet this weekend and watch for naked people and sharks. The naked people is on account of the fact that this seems to be becoming an unofficial Naked Weekend. Celebrate as you will. And the sharks is just common sense.

(Image: Instagram)

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