• Sat, Oct 6 2012

Kim Kardashian Needs An Intimate Beach Wedding For Her Collection

Oh, Kim Kardashian.Thank you for providing endless fodder for all my blogging and ridiculing needs. With all the gifts you’ve given me over the years, I already owe you more than I can say, and yet there’s more. When speaking to the British magazine Tatler about her marriage plans for the future, she said:

“It had always been my dream to have a big wedding, and when people said I’d made it over the top for the show, that was just me: I am over the top. But the next time, I want to do it on an island with just my friends and family and that’s it.”

Yeah, good point. You had the huge, expensive, staged wedding, and now you have to collect the other eight. There’s Intimate Beach Wedding, Barefoot Field Wedding, Traditional Religious Wedding, Costume Wedding, Destination Wedding, Courthouse Wedding, Shotgun Wedding, and Otis Wedding. I know you think Kim’s still young, but she’s gotta get a move-on if she’s gonna catch ‘em all before she’s old and gray. Actually she’ll probably be fine, as long as she sticks to her strategy of keeping them short and sweet. Or at least short.

But I think what irritates me about this girl is the fact that she’s talking about getting married again as if we live in a world where she  wasn’t married to Kris Humphries for 72 days. Like she didn’t tell us all on national television that she was gonna be with him until the end of time, and then turned out the end of time wasn’t quite as far in the future as we thought. But then you’re gonna talk about your plans for your next marriage? Can I get a second to breathe! When you crash a car and they decide it happened because you were behaving recklessly, sometimes they take your license away so you can’t do it again immediately. But there’s no such thing as a license to get married — unless you’re gay and ruining the sanctity of marriage for people like Kim Kardashian — so I think we all know she’s gonna go right out and do it again. Just like that first embarrassing time never happened.

Can’t we just re-air the last wedding and Photoshop Kanye’s face in? It seems like that would save everybody a lot of time and effort.

(Image: C. Smith / WENN.com)

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