Jesus, take the wheel. And then explain to me how we ended up living in a world where Chris Brown can play the heartsick protagonist in a homemade romantic comedy that’s somehow going to make him even more endearing to his fans.
Last night, while everyone else dreamt of sugarplum faires and meadows of lollipops, Chris Brown released an incredibly “honest” and “raw” home video where he confesses that he’s torn between his ex-girlfriend Karrueche Tran and his secret-not-secret girlfriend Rihanna.
It’s just that, well, it’s so hard being Chris Brown. And so hard having someone turn your drunken videotaped confession into a stirring masterpiece that makes you look like a modern day knight in shining armor.
Want a little taste of his chivalry? Of his ability to turn a situation in which anyone else would be considered a horrible douchebag into one that promotes his brand and furthers his connections with this fans?
Ok, here’s a little excerpt:
“I’m a little drunk, so I’m going to be honest. You don’t all really get the real Chris Brown. I like to be honest…You share history with somebody, and then you tend to fall in love with somebody else — it’s kind of difficult…Is there such thing as loving two people? I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s possible. But for me, I just feel like that…I’m being real. I don’t want to hurt either or. It’s me. I’m not trying to be a player.”
For one minute let’s forget that he did physically hurt Rihanna to the point where she had to go to the hospital. Let’s join Team Breezy and pretend like that little mistake’s completely forgiven and forgotten.
Let’s just talk about the fact that he publicly dated two women at once. It’s bad enough to cheat on your girlfriend, but it brings it to a whole new level to do it openly with your very famous ex-girlfriend. After months of speculation that he’s seeing Rihanna, it’s a little late for him now to be worried about hurting either women.
But once again he’s magically manipulated the situation so that he’s the heartsick puppy dog stuck in a tough situation. As always, Chris Brown’s the victim of circumstances that he creates himself.