I adored Looper—I thought it was sharp, bleak, sexy, gory, and just twisty enough with time-travel logic to make me take the dramatic stakes seriously while still trying to find flaws in the system. The two friends I saw it with similarly loved it, but now that the movie has been out for almost a week, I’ve encountered about 50/50 praise and opposition. At least one of my friends has derided the film for lazy narration and an ending that invalidates the whole story (he says), and I’ve heard other people complain about Rian Johnson‘s vision of the future being cliched or crammed with too many out-there elements.
For those people, I present “Disney‘s Looper.” The folks at Screen Junkies have unearthed the 1994 trailer for a Disney film also starring Bruce Willis and Joseph Gordon-Levitt as the same person. See, as much fun as Johnson’s lurid sex club scenes were, with JGL self-medicating with eye dropper drugs and sleeping with Piper Perabo, the heart of Looper is actually about Young Joe and Old Joe learning to team up against the forces of fate and change both their lives for the better.
Actually, as you might’ve guessed by now, it’s a mash-up of Angels in the Outfield and The Kid (where Willis actually does meet his younger self, but played by Spencer Breslin). I kinda love the silly situational “bum-bum-bum” music and how well the Screen Junkies guys translated the Young Joe/Old Joe conflict into a kids’ movie. Especially how, instead of the kickass diner scene where Willis handily disarms JGL, you have Willis mocking a crying JGL with “Someone call the waaahmbulance.” It’s OK, Young Joe had it coming.