I’m Scared Revenge Is Going To Kill Itself In Season Two

Revenge finally returned to TV last night and kicked off the season with a mysterious murder that reminded me just how much I love this show. There’s nothing quite like a wrongful death to get my juices flowing!

Every show on primetime can pull off a murder, but they can’t all do it in a way that involves a Japanese Revenge Tutorial Company, an emotionally abused foster child deadest on avenging her parents’ wrongful deaths and the striking good looks of Josh Bowman.

Despite all the ridiculous twists and turns of the season premiere, I still believe that this show’s doing something that no other show’s even attempting. And I’m not just talking about killing off characters and bringing them back to life as the leisure of the plot line and Madeleine Stowe’s contract. I’m talking about taking an incredibly soapy concept and making it must-watch TV that everyone’s talking about.

While I can nitpick almost every drama on network tv for being completely nonsensical and illogical, I can’t get angry at Revenge for doing the same. Sure everything doesn’t make sense and sure I sometimes want to scream at Jack to see a therapist about his unrequited crush on a childhood friend who he only knew for one summer. But that doesn’t stop me from watching the show. It doesn’t stop me from talking about Ashley like she personally stabbed me in the back with her ruthless career ambitions.

(Also, sidenote, she’s totally sleeping with Conrad Greyson too, right? Can we all agree on that?)

I mean, I get to use words like ruthless in reference to this show. What more could a girl with a middle class background and an art collection from TJ Maxx want in this life?

Not since the days of The OC and The Boxcar Children have I been this entranced by such a ridiculous plot about wealthy familes caught up in a web of deceit, lies, betrayal and neighbors with hidden intentions.  There are love triangles, secret children, murder accusations and unlikely friendships set against the glamorous backdrop of the Hamptons.

Revenge depicts the life for myself that I would have had if my parents had only gone into business with international terrorists who will do anything to make money. Despite the danger and the murder and the mysterious white-haired-man who double-crosses everyone, I would kill to go to one of their famous society events.

Literally kill, because that’s totally acceptable in this group of frenemies. If you want something that’s only attainable through murder, that’s totally justifiable.

And that’s what worries me about this show. It’s too good to be true. How can it possibly sustain itself through another season without jumping the shark. In the premiere alone Victoria Greyson comes back to life and reveals she’s in “the witness protection program,” Emily Thorne finds out her mother was locked up for being “mentally ill” during her childhood, Charlotte Greyson gets framed by her father for drug use, the white-haired man returns with an ambition to kill Emily (again), Takeda gets replaced by another actor and we meet another student of Revenge R Us Academy.

I just hope it’s not too much, too soon. I hope that they don’t get overexcited by the success of last season and overcompensate with too many complicated plot lines.

The moments with Emily and Nolan spying on Victoria Greyson in their pajamas on her couch are just as special as Conrad locking his daughter up in an effort to get her inheritance.

Keep it simple, keep it revengeful, and keep it somewhat sensical.

I’m looking at you abandoned hospital that’s kept unlocked and in perfect shape.

(Images: TV Equals/Loooogan/ Vonpiro)

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    • http://twitter.com/iunfold Nicole Williams

      Oh yeah, Ash and Conrad are totally doing it. I got the impression from their behavior in last season’s latter episodes that they were going to get horizontal fairly soon, and nothing about their interactions last night changed that opinion. Plus, as soon as Daniel said that thing to Conrad about not having to worry about Ashley’s faithfulness, I figured she and his dad had to be having it off. The writers at Revenge are big fans of irony.

      I like how Nolan’s not hiding his light under a bushel anymore. I’ve lusted after Gabriel Mann for the last decade, but last season’s tech-geekover made it difficult for the uninitiated to see why.

      I hate fake Amanda. Damaged psychopaths aren’t as interesting as they used to be. I think that (current) Emily needs an entirely new boy toy, since Daniel will be unavailable until he walks in on Conrad and Ashley, and Jack is currently falling for the oldest trick in the book (although, since the show is openly questioning the baby’s paternity, he probably really is the father).

      • Jenni

        I’ve never been into the Jack/Amanda romance because I didn’t buy it. They didn’t meet when they were 16 and lose their virginity to each other. Wasn’t Amanda 8?

        But the show WANTS them together so badly, which makes me think it’s NOT his baby. Is it newTakeda’s baby? Or something even more sinister like Conrad’s taken from frozen sperm Takeda somehow had?

        Also, I hate Ashley. She’s really the worst.