• Mon, Oct 1 2012

The Only Thing Crazier Than Kate On Breaking Amish Is The Fact Jeremiah ‘Broke Amish’ 14 Years Go

Looks like the scriptwriters over at Breaking Amish headquarters realized their show needed more drama, more sex and more crazy eyes. Because everyone knows that no reality show’s complete until someone suffers from a televised mental breakdown.

Sorry Kate, looks like you’re our lady of luck this season. Hope you didn’t take that modeling career too seriously, because now you’re about to join the ranks of Teresa Giudice and be featured in the hallowed halls of reality stars we love to hate to diagnose with mental illnesses we don’t understand.

On behalf of the the America that allowed this show to happen, you’re welcome girl!

So where do we begin on this downward spiral.

Oh, how about a bar? Jeremiah Raber and Kate go out drinking together because they just know they’ll be great drinking buddies. How do they know? Well Kate did get that DUI in Florida and Jeremiah did allegedly leave the Amish community 14 years ago, giving him plenty of time to learn how to drink.

14 years ago?! Did you just choke on your first beer too? Yeah, Jeremiah Raber’s alleged ex-wife Naomi Stutzman came forward with all sorts of allegations about how he left when he was 18. Oh, he also supposedly owes her a ton of money in child support for their 3 children — which Naomi claims TLC is helping to pay off.  B-b-but then TLC knows he’s divorced with three children and left the Amish many moons before this show? Naomi told CBS 21 that they offered her money not to speak on camera to them, naturally TLC denies this. So many allegations, so many of them about the fact that Jeremiah’s not really driving on the show for the first time.

But anyway, back to our intervention. So Kate’s wasted-schwasted outside the bar talking about some cute guy inside. Looks normal, right?

Wrong! Sabrina and Rebecca fill us in that Kate’s weird. She’s like, so weird. She had mood swings and different feelings at different times. Sometimes she laughs and sometimes she cries. And sometimes she even says things like Crazy Kate’s coming out of the box now!

Scared for Kate? It only gets worse. She continues to drink in the episode and even (prepare yourself) dances on a pole at one point in a bar. Jeremiah points out that it doesn’t look like it’s the first time she’s done that. Which makes me point out that Jeremiah sounds like he’s talking for experience. Possibly 14 years of experience!?

Anyway, the gang decides it’s time for an intervention. But then the show’s over for the week.

What will happen to poor Kate? And what will become of Jeremiah’s alleged children?! Only MORE episodes of Breaking Amish will tell!

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