If you were a kid with cable in the 90′s, chances are you were a huge Nickelodeon nut like me. If you weren’t, I feel sorry for you because you probably had to watch a lot of PBS. Amanda Bynes was just a wee child back then, and was one of the youngest stars of the network’s prime time kids’ variety show All That. Back before she was committing felonies and hitting more vehicles than Tiger Woods hits golf balls, she was a charming little actress with a lot of potential. What we couldn’t have known back then was that perhaps Amanda Bynes wasn’t really acting at all when she performed her recurring sketch, “Ask Ashley”:
What a nut job, right? After dozens of hit-and-runs, a DUI, constant disorientation, and two separate incidents of locking herself inside NYC establishments for no reason, I can only assume that “Ashley” is a person that actually lives inside her head. After all, it’s not every day that a NYC firefighter–one of New York’s finest, we’re talking about here–has to break down a door in a cupcake shop to rescue a D-List starlet barricaded in the bathroom, where she was “putting on her makeup”. For two hours. In a bakery.
I don’t know what kind of competition or suicide pact Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan have going on these days, but it’s clear to me that they’re on the Amy Winehouse Path To Destruction. It also leads me to wonder if Lindsay Lohan’s Annie James/Hallie Parker portrayal as a child didn’t lead her to some sort of split-personality disorder as well? Nahh, I refuse to believe it. Mainly because Hayley Mills never ended up in the tabloids for hitting pedestrians in a blind haze of cocaine, vodka and Red Bull.
But “Ask Ashley” is a different story entirely.