Yeah, so maybe I’ve never liked Brangelina and I’m picking on them, but seriously, I can’t tell you how many effs I don’t give for what they are doing with themselves and their infinite wealth. Yes, their wealth is infinite. Know why? Because people keep giving them so much dang attention. There are others too. Answer me this: how over hearing that Selena and Justin really did break up this time are you, on a scale of the moon to the top? I’m about maxed out.
That said, it’s time to thrust some of these other celebrity couples into the limelight, because that’s the way to keep a relationship alive, right? Okay, maybe we don’t have to go to 500x optical zoom camera levels, but what about 50x? I at least want to be able to see them gaze lovingly at each other on a casual stroll through NYC for God’s sakes.
No matter how much we degrade them by putting their marriages at the bottom of a headline list that starts with “Justin Passes Selena The Salt At Dinner,” these couples are the ones we should be talking about, not to mention aspiring our own relationships to be like. Which brings me to honorable mention couples, who are all quite worthy of a spot under this headline. First, if you saw Hit and Run, you know it begins and ends with the goofy-witty love that Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard have. I just figured this treatise was enough.
Other honorable mentions: Fergie and Josh Duhamel, Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr (Not sure if they’re actually overrated or my heartbeat just spikes every time I see Miranda Kerr’s name and I feel an urgent desire to include her in whatever I’m writing), Rachel McAdams and Michael Sheen, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. (Yeah they’re still together, and they have a brand new baby boy), the ultra-private Carey Mulligan and Marcus Mumford, the disproportionately attractive Taran Killam and Cobie Smulders, Dawn Porter and Chris O’Dowd, Zoe Kravitz and Penn Badgley (He looked too grimy to include a picture), and the classic Danny Devito and Rhea Pearlman.
Sorry y’all. Or actually I’m not sorry – stay underrated, and maybe you’ve got a shot at making it. Happy privacy!
(Photo: Nikki Nelson/WENN.com)