• Mon, Sep 24 2012

The Wanted Cut To The Chase And Just Show Fans (A Hint Of) Their Penises

It’s long been a well known fact that boy bands exist primarily as masturbation fodder for budding straight female (and gay male) sexuality. You can dance around it all you want, speak only even euphemisms, and even slap a purity ring on it, but at the end of the day, the success of your boy band is precisely proportional to the amount of time 12-year-old girls spend visualizing the hot one’s penis in their tiny vaginas.

Either because they don’t get that or, understandably, don’t want to think about it, boy bands’ management has always hesitated to get too sexy and obvious with it, until now. Someone at The Wanted, Inc. has decided “beating around the bush” is not part of their corporate strategy. They’ve already talked about sex and cumming, and now they’ve cut even further to the chase and just pulled down their pants for us.

The photo in question comes from We <3 Pop Magazine, whose latest cover features the boys with a privacy strip over their genitals (to which they are pointing) and promises “The Wanted: All Talk And No Trousers!”

Excited youngsters will buy the mag to find they’re not actually doing the Full Monty, but what you get (top) is close enough. Especially in the case of Siva “tighty whities” Kaneswaran.  I know the conventional wisdom is that boy bands are supposed to seem non sexually threatening because girls have “objects” at that age, but no “aims” (fuck yeah, gender theory class), but have you ever been a 12-year-old girl? Because they are so much grosser than people think. Just because they look cute and don’t get visible boners doesn’t mean they’re not thinking about sex every bit as much as the boys. TRUE FACT.

I can only hope The Wanted will follow this fruitful line of reasoning to its logical conclusion and do full on hardcore next.

(Via ONTD)

Photo: We <3 Pop

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