• Mon, Sep 24 2012

Sofia Vergara Grants Every Teenage Boy’s Wish, Has A Wardrobe Malfunction At The Emmys

Sofia Vergara may not have won an Emmy last night for her work on Modern Family, but she did convince teenage boys everywhere that there is a god, and he’s listening, when she busted out of her dress. You know that all the wee little gentlemen who got forced into watching the show with their parents were sitting there watching Sofia come down the red carpet saying in their head, “I promise I will take the trash out for the rest of my life if you will just break…that…zipper, god. I don’t even care if I see boob or butt, I just wanna see some unintentional Sofia Vergara skin.” Except they probably wouldn’t have known that her name was Sofia Vergara, so in her head they were referring to her as, ‘that shiny Latina mermaid.’

I am so jealous right now.

And then it happened! Some little zipper on the back of her dress burst, and there are pictures of BOTH CHEEKS AND THONG. Sorry, I just went pre-teen boy on you, but oh my god it happened! God was listening to my weird, mostly sex-related prayers! Or else Sofia Vergara was, because she posted this picture herself, on her Twitter. Probably no one would’ve known anything happened except whoever was right next to her on the red carpet or some paparazzi who snapped a fuzzy picture of her fleeing, but nay nay nay, that is not her way. Sofia knows her fan base is made up of straight men who want to see her butt and gay men and women who want to have her butt, so this was really a win-win, even though she still has to wait for next year for her Supporting Actress Emmy, which went to her costar Julie Bowen this year.

No but no joke, Sofia was looking fierce that night. I think they couldn’t give her the Emmy because there’s a rule that whoever they give the award to can’t be shinier or more attractive than the statue itself.

(Image: WENN.com / WhoSay)

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