The Real Housewives of Miami is only on its second episode, and already we have our first dose of some serious drama. Rodolfo Jimenez, the Latin soap star who’s supposed to be the boyfriend of tooth enthusiast Karent Sierra, has supposedly been sending and receiving texts from ex-husband enthusiast Ana Quincoces. And not just any texts — romantic texts. But luckily, Karent knows that’s completely impossible, as her flashy white teeth and long shiny hair have completely mesmerized Rodolfo. Anyone else who tries to get his attention is just a crazed fan, and poses no threat to her. She completely trusts Rodolfo because he shows her every suspect text message he receives, and anyway, Karent refuses to sink to the level of the drama. Which in the long, storied past of reality TV means that she gets to gossip about the drama as much as she wants until it stops going her way, at which point she doesn’t stoop to the level of gossip. It’s a win-win for her!
Except that I’m pretty sure Ana is telling the truth, and I have a few reasons for thinking so:
- First of all, Rodolfo introduced himself to Ana when they saw each other last episode, even though they already knew each other via Facebook, texting, and in person. That’s not something an innocent man does in front of his girlfriend.
- Secondly, Karent wasn’t aware that Rodolfo had been texting Ana back, apparently because he’d only been showing her the texts that came in. Also he’d been messaging her on Valentine’s Day, which she could prove by showing her Facebook to the other Housewives. He said there wasn’t anything more beautiful than her, prompting to wonder if he was planning her as his V-Day foreplay or dessert. Again, doesn’t reek of innocence to me.
- Ana actually has a boyfriend, and a weirdly super-close relationship with her ex-husband, with whom she has kids, so I don’t know that she has a lot of free time to go fabricating a whole relationship with someone else’s boyfriend. Especially because she says she didn’t even know he had a girlfriend.
- When Karent took Rodolfo to go get a massage and talk about her future plans to marry him, he fell asleep in the middle without giving her a satisfactory answer.
- And finally, I just like Ana a lot better than I like Karent, because she seems more real and natural, and I think she has far less to gain from lying than Rodolfo does. Also I don’t trust a dentist with a publicist.
But what do you think of my super-sleuth detective work? Is he or isn’t he cheating? I wish we could just ask Mama Elsa Patton.
In other news, Adriana De Moura-Sidi doesn’t want to get married, Joanna Krupa and Karent do, Lisa Hochstein wants babies, and Lea Black and Marysol Patton are still holding it down for the (mostly) normal girls.