Last night’s season finale of Keeping Up With The Kardashians was entirely baby-themed. Kim Kardashian wants to freeze her eggs, Khloe Kardashian is scared she doesn’t have any, and Kourtney Kardashian is finally hatched. Luckily for us, we were all there to see it. All of it.
For those of you very lucky souls who didn’t have the joy of watching last nights episode, you missed feeling like the 10th person in the delivery room watching as Kourtney Kardashian reached down and pulled her baby out all by herself, just like she did with her son Mason–who was the only adorable thing about the episode. While I’m all for the miracle of life, the circle of life, and even the facts of life, I don’t like being surprised by such things.
Don’t you remember in health class when you were forced to watch that awful 90s movie where a woman gives birth, and the teacher warned you about the graphic content beforehand? (If you don’t, I’m assuming you went to a much nicer school than me and they didn’t force you to watch such things…lucky you!) Well last nights episode was just like that, minus the warning. Where was my warning?!?! The Sun aptly refers to the episode as “Kandid Kamera,” but I can’t help but feel like it was me who was being toyed with. Where was the hidden camera recording me and my reaction following that such seriously disturbing content? Unfortunately nobody popped out from behind my couch, but if someone had they would have seen something similar to this:
I thought the fact that Snooki’s baby was barely a week old and on the cover of People was questionable. Well Kourtney Kardashian seriously one-upped her. 20 years in the future when all of the celebrity babies are grown-up, drunken messes complaining about the camera and paparazzi, Penelope Scotland Disick can confidently say “I’ve been filmed since birth, bitches, so stfu.”