• Sat, Sep 15 2012

Um, Who Told Abigail Breslin It Was Okay To Grow Up And Make Me Feel Old

As a completely mentally healthy person, I measure the passage of time through child celebrities. Every time I see a photo of a once precocious child star show leg on the red carpet, I realize that I too have aged.

The day I see Honey Boo Boo graduate high school is the day I’ll know I’m too old to wear clothing that shows my midriff. Possibly also my knees and elbows.

So while I fully acknowledge that child celebrities age at  the same rate as non-celebrities, seeing Abigail Breslin as an adult woman really threw me for a loop.

How is this possible? I just watched her in Raising Helen last week and she couldn’t have been older than 5 years old. 6 tops. When did she turn 100? Who let her wear puberty out of the house?

Why does this photo make me feel like my loss of bladder control is right around the corner?

So many questions. So few answers. Probably because I’m already losing my mind. Ugh, dementia’s the worst!

(Photo: Stefan Jeremiah/WENN.com & Hotflick)

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