Now the Fifty Shades of Grey casting rumors are just getting cruel—putting forward smoldering hot actors and then saying, “Oh, never mind, he wasn’t even interested in the first place.” That’s the case with the press throwing Michael Fassbender into the ring, even though it will never happen, and now I’m stuck imagining what he would do with those twitchy palms. (Seriously, doesn’t he look like he’s saying “Laters, baby” in this photo?)
This Daily Mail story is from a few days ago but got buried within a larger story about… cycling? OK. When asked about the possibility of him playing dominating billionaire Christian Grey, the Shame star said, ”I haven’t even read the book.” And here’s where I got the impression he was pretty exasperated: ”You get your privates out and people assume you are some sex maniac.”
I’ll give him that, it must be frustrating that the main takeaway people have from Shame is “Gee, this guy is well-hung and capable of playing really sexual characters, so of course he should play a much less nuanced character just because we want an excuse to see him naked more.” But actually, it’s more likely that fans have him in mind as an older Christian because of two scenes in the 2009 indie Fish Tank.
He plays the roguish Irish boyfriend of the main character’s mom, and in the following video he a) spanks the girl for sneaking up on him or something, and b) has sex with her. Potential squick factor: The character is only 15, though of course that creepiness adds to the idea of Christian as a predatory guy going after an inexperienced young woman. But at least the girl has had sex with someone other than Fassy. Video might be considered NSFW since there are the sexytimes, but he keeps his shirt on. (Which, coincidentally, is just like Christian!)
I don’t think he’s our Christian by a long shot—partly due to age, but also because he just deserves better. It’s not like he did Shame because of the titillating sex scenes; rather, it was his anguished performance as an addict that earned him the nominations.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna take a little trip through Tumblr.
Dammit, now I do want Fassy to be Fifty!
.gif: diffidentia on Tumblr