If you’re like me and you spent yesterday in a stupor trying to figure out why Blake Lively married divorcee Ryan Reynolds at only 25-years-old, then rest assured because I have answers for you. Turns out that despite still being in her twenties and despite that Ryan Reynold’s has an obvious fetish for young, blonde brides, Blake has no time to waste.
In a quote from an Allure interview that will make TLC producers drool, it turns out the Gossip Girls actress wants approximately 30 kids.
However, she does—perhaps unwittingly—reveal some clues about her life. “I’ve always wanted a big family,” says the actress. How many does kids she want? “Oh, I’d love 30 if I could,” she says.
Yep, 30. She says it casually as if she’s already discussed the do’s and don’t of turning your uterus into an interstate highway with Michelle Duggar. Just 30 kids. No big deal.
I mean, it explains the rushed engagement period. You can’t be popping out a couple dozen kids when you’re in your 30s — or heavens forbid, your 40s. No, Blake had to get started now. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s already pregnant. Or luck be a celebrity blogger, already in the delivery room.
Dear God, please make Blake Lively pregnant with twins who are in the process of being born right now. Please name them something poetic like Blaketon and Blakelet. And please let them inherits their mother’s hair.
The only thing I worry about is who will care for all these children when she and Ryan get their inevitable divorce. I mean, at some point another younger and blonder actress will rise through the ranks and catch his eye. And then poor Blake will be a single mother with 30 mouths to feed.
Then again, if Octomom’s taught us anything, it’s that a masturbation sex tape can never hurt when it comes to providing for your children’s needs.
(Photo: Ralph, PacificCoastNews.com)