I can complete a Sudoku in minutes. I can calculate tips without using an app. I can traverse the New York City subways. Yet I can not figure out Teresa Giudice, and her appearance on last night’s Watch What Happens Live did not help. During the season premiere, the Real Housewives of New Jersey star struggled to keep her stories straight, making fans wonder “what the eff ?” From forgiving her husband’s offensive comments to friending Danielle Staub, Teresa even made co-guest Perez Hilton roll his eyes.
She Misses Danielle Staub . . . Even Though She Hates Her
Despite the verbal and almost-physical fights during season two, Teresa doesn’t actually hate former co-star Danielle Staub. In fact, she even misses her a little bit. During an earlier-taped interview with Andy Cohen, Teresa says she was only mean to Danielle out of loyalty to Caroline Manzo and Jaqueline Laurita. She even claims that Danielle never did anything to hurt her. So I guess calling your out on your foreclosure and outing your for being an awful aunt didn’t hurt your rep?
She Likes Things Natural. . . Despite Having Fake Boobs
When co-guest Perez Hilton talked about his weight loss, he said it was done through diet and exercise. So of course Teresa took this as an opportunity to bash Lauren Manzo, who underwent lap band surgery for weight loss. When confronted about her bitchy comment, Teresa said she believes things should be natural. Oh, like how your boobs “naturally” went from an A-cup to C-cup?
She Will Forgive Anyone. . . If Diamonds Are Involved
Of course, Andy Cohen asked Teresa how she reacted to her husband’s infamous Napa phone call. Apparently it wasn’t a big deal. Teresa clarified that Joe was one the phone with his friend Albie and then his Spanish-speaking worker Claudio. So what were they teasing him about that made him sound like a horny high schooler?
As for calling her the c-word, Teresa says she was shocked. Then she said he didn’t call her that. In the end it doesn’t matter though, because he bought her diamonds and she called him a d–k. I guess that’s how marriage works in New Jersey.
Andy Cohen Gets Laid. . . A Lot
Ok so this may not have anything to do with Teresa, but Perez Hilton told the world that Andy Cohen gets some major a–. At least, that’s the word around the gay community campfire. I just hope he rates them as “mazels” or “jackholes” after sex.
(Photo: Bravo TV )