Saying someone is your favorite Kardashian is kind of a conundrum. It’s like having a favorite type of root canal, or a most enjoyable bikini wax. I get what you’re saying, but the word ‘favorite’ and those words don’t go together. And yet, here I find myself saying that Khloe Kardashian is my favorite Kardashian. She seems like the most down-to-earth of her (admittedly terrible) sisters Kourtney and Kim, and against-all-odds, her relationship to Lamar Odom is the healthiest and most committed in the family. If she’s made a sex tape, we’ve never seen it, and she’s successfully taken a stand against Kris Jenner‘s fame-whore-y ways on more than one occasion.
That said, I’m seeing on the internet that Khloe’s being considered to be a judge on X Factor, and I need America to pull it together. I’m not saying she’s not a nice lady, but what has she ever ever done to give her the street cred to judge the talents of others? Let’s bear in mind that this woman is famous for being the sister of someone who is famous for being in a sex tape. Sure, they now have their own show Keeping Up With the Kardashians, but when have you ever seen her do something on that show that requires talent? Yes, her hair is very shiny and she and her sisters are all always cleverly made up, but don’t they have people for that? I’m almost positive they have hair and make-up artists on the show, so Khloe can’t even take credit for her beautiful swingy hair.
But seriously! She’s not an actress, a model, a singer, a dancer, a comedian, a writer, a poet, a painter, a butcher, a baker, or a candlestick-maker, so what the hell is she gonna judge? Are contestants gonna go up there and let us film their daily lives? Because reality TV is Khloe’s only real area of expertise. I suppose she could also judge people on the briefness of their relationships before they get married, but I feel like there are computer programs that could do that as well, and you’d have to pay them less. Say what you will about Britney Spears and Demi Lovato, but they’ve at least each produced and performed music before in their lives.
I see what you’re doing, X Factor producers. You’re trying to get me to watch your show just because I vaguely enjoy Keeping Up With the Kardashians. And the worst part is? It’ll probably work.
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