If Anyone’s Gonna Analyze The Rob/Kristen Situation, It’s Showmance Expert Angelina Jolie

Kristen Stewart Angelina Jolie @JolieProject Twitter fake showmances PR stuntThe latest celebrity has weighed in on the Kristen Stewart/Robert Pattinson cheating scandal—and part of me is surprised that it took Angelina Jolie this long to comment. You know, considering that her and Brad Pitt‘s love affair happened on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, she’s the expert on showmances and negative backlash from fans.

And since Brad and Angie are also the standard for successful on-set romances, it stands to reason that she could sniff out the real thing from the fake. She recently published a list of tweets about how to conduct yourself on social media and sneaked in a reference to the Robsten drama. Let’s look at her third commandment, on publicist-mandated fauxmances:

3. You can definitely stay almost unrecognized on social networks, unless media or someone else “famous” mentions you.

3a. Why people tend to believe media over own judgement, is beyond me? Don’t be a blind follower! Never…

3b. Do you know that more than 90% of the stories about celebrities are either made up by some magazine, or are a pr stunt.

3c. You play along when younger but end up realizing it’s a bad idea. Studios gain, but you don’t. (Kristen – Robert thing : classic)

3d. To all those fiction writers in media – know your boundaries – stay away from children.

Yep, it seems like Angie shares our opinion! That not only is the “cheating scandal” a huge PR stunt, but their relationship has been fake from the beginning. Now, I know a lot of Robsten supporters want to believe that Kristen fooling around with Rupert Sanders was just a rough patch, but this is the first time I’ve seen a celebrity really make the argument that the whole thing was orchestrated. So far it’s been celebrities mocking the fandom, like Will Ferrell and Bruce Willis playing Twihards, but I’d be fascinated to hear more of this insider opinion.

The only problem here is that we don’t know how much we can actually believe this Twitter account. While @JolieProject is verified and has nearly 165,000 followers, iMediaEthics claims that it’s a fake account, after “Angelina” criticized the Croatian handball coach during the Olympics. Because Brad and Angie are notoriously low-key about releasing official quotes, we may never know if she actually typed out that tweet. (Also, I’d like to think she knows the difference between “your” and “you’re.”)

You know whose wise counsel we really need here? Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan-Tatum.

[via Celeb Dirty Laundry]

Photo: Apega/WENN.com

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    • Subfusc28
    • Audrey

      It would not be the first time in Hollywood´s story see a Showmance but in the case of Robert and Kristen I do not think so because you can fake and pretend to be a couple for days, weeks or months but years could be??? Hard to believe, and with no other picture proving they have got another love life with others (before affair).

      If Angelina’s tweets are true, she says a great truth. Most things in the press are false or semi false, always exaggerated. The last person who had to deny a story that has been on every magazine was Adele and her non-wedding.

      Now there are many speculations about Robsten because the press and people do not know anything at all from this scandal. Before the paparazzi could take pictures of them daily and now have volatilized …. and not forgetting that the press is used that Robert and Kristen never confirms nor denies, so it’s easy writes lies each day with “a source say”.

      I think Angelina Jolie would want to refer to the stunt was not the relationship but yes the cheating affair … and the winner is clearly Summit comes with promo BD part 2 and their expectations with the fans for the latest installment … The person which currently is Kristen. Rupert leaves happy, does not have the appearance of a repentant husband, Liberty has job openings and Cosmopolis promo was huge.

      • nena

        I agree that how or why fake a relationship for 4 years?? Its usually a stupid short thing in tabs right before a movie comes out and then is forgotten or didnt work out. Wasnt Taylor Lautner and Lilly Collins dating during and right after Abduction or what ever that movie was called that was very short lived. In 4 years this is the first time of any suggesting they have been with another person. If the whole relationship was fake and both were free to date others I cant think that we would not have seen pictures or stories, The studios cant expect actors to stop living for 4 years!!! I would find it hard to believe Jolie would have a twittter account, most actors hate twitter cuz it so easy for someone to tweet if they have seen a star and where they are.

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    • s

      IF Angelina did write this (And that is a huge IF), then I’m shocked. But she does know what she is talking about. I don’t think KS &RP relationship, will ever get over the speculation, “is it real or not”. And if those 2 say, actually gotten married, people still believe that their relationship was fake, for pr purpose, whatever.Regardless, these two will always have people speculating about their personal lives, no matter who they are with. Especially, with cheating scandal. Some say it is a PR stunt, and mostly others say she just got caught cheating. At this point, who knows what to believe. I believe they were a real couple, but I just don’t think it was as serious as people actually thought. Yeah, of course they’ve been together for years, but that doesn’t really mean anything….especially in HW. Maybe they were, no one really knows except them. And if it was, I can’t imagine after years being together, people speculating that my relationship was fake or whatever. You can’t win the media or fans, either you put your personal lives put there or don’t. Either way, people will never be happy with what you say or don’t. And it’s never going to be enough.

    • me

      As if we needed Angelina whatever project to complicate the situation more. I’ve been wondering too whether their relation was a pr stunt, but it’s farfetched. I don’t believe at all that someone successful like Kristen Stewart would pretend to love a man for 4 years and then cheat on him for pr stunt. That’s illogic. Jolie project is just another lie in my opinion or maybe we misunderstood it. Maybe she meant that the stories we’re hearing about the scandal are 90% wrong which leaves 10% right.Am I right? This has gone far beyond anyone’s expectations. I wish Kristen would say something about it or even Rob.

    • Irish Girl

      Oh, bollocks. If Jolie considered this worth her vaunted attention enough to even TWEET about it, I will eat my pajamas.

      • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

        You probably don’t remember at robsessed how they constantly tore Taylor Lautner apart. For things like his being shorter than Rob. The same as criticizing a women for small boobs. And the nasty jokes they made about him. those girls and that place is a vicious cesspool of vitriol.

      • http://profiles.google.com/holly.slavic Aitch Slavic

        I agree and that is why I left.

      • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

        As a sociological study it is fascinating. Very scary.

      • northGAgirl

        Irish Girl…100% agree. No way in a million years that Angeline Jolie would comment on another actor’s personal life because she hates it when people comment on hers…even when it’s her father. Bogus.

      • Irish Girl

        Well, and besides being beneath her notice, it would also be laughable for her to comment on this situation in any capacity. And she’s smart enough to know it. It would open her up to a line of query that she simply does not want to deal with.

      • s

        This seems like an ” as if ” moment.lol Now that I really think about it,.Angelina Joli wouldn’t even waste her time with this scandal.

      • nena

        Ok girl you must have alot of PJ’s cuz you said before you were going to eat them for something else!!! So do you eat them fried, or grilled? But as abbeysbooks said too bad RP and KS dont learn from Jolie on how to handle the media

      • Irish Girl

        *snort* I think they’re doing quite well handling the media, and have done for a long time. ;)

      • S

        So Angelina REALLY did tweet this then??

    • Peony

      Forget what Farrel,Bruce Willis or Anjelina supposedly say.It is clear to everybody that there is something clearly not right with the pictures,still people created sheer senseless drama out of it.I think both Kristen and Rob have moved on(the stunt could have been to facilitate and justify their ‘split’) ,people,maybe we should move on too.

    • http://robinvandam1.tumblr.com/ Robin Van Dam

      I said this from the start as soon as I saw the pics!

    • http://robinvandam1.tumblr.com/ Robin Van Dam

      Here’s another possible twist: What if KStew was a victim:

      Mr. Sanders is the type of man with whom I am very familiar. He is the type
      of person that befriends you to use you and get as much from you at the
      slightest possible cost to himself. He is a risk taker at the risk of others,
      knowing, well in advance, what his goal is, what his chances of success are,
      and what his level of exposure will be, well before he plays the game. He
      begins to size you up at first contact and zeros in on your most vulnerable
      characteristics. He is the top of the food chain, a predator, watching every
      move of his prey, categorizing their ticks, and carefully calculating his
      advantages over their weaknesses. His relationships, especially with women, are
      brief and to the point, hunting for the easiest target, like a lion, usually
      going for the young and inexperienced to conserve his energy or exposure. He
      minimizes his damages with promises or threats, depending on their weaknesses,
      as he lures them in for the kill and savors the delicacies of his conquests
      with an insatiable, narcissistic pleasure.

      He targets his prey based on his level of risk and exposure, knowing, the
      higher the profile, the lower the risk of exposure. He disregards what is
      morally, humanely, and civilly right. He takes advantage of his power over his
      prey, regardless of the consequences and harm imposed. He leaves them wounded
      with overwhelming guilt, self-loathing, feelings of worthlessness, and
      depression, allowing him to return to devour them over, and over, again, at his
      leisure. His position of authority allows him the luxury of praise or
      displeasure, knowing his prey will either be grateful or crumble into
      submission and he will receive the fruits of his labor, willingly, leaving them
      hungry for more or unsatisfied with their need to please him so they are worthy
      of his good graces. The situation of emotional distress, naïveté, and
      vulnerability allows him to nurture his prey, in a fatherly stature, insuring
      their loyalty, love, respect and tight lips, limiting his exposure to the bare
      minimum. He believes he is top dog and invincible. He respects no one below his
      own egotistical importance. (Continued)

      To be precise, Mr. Pattinson, you are what Mr. Sanders deems below him, more
      than anyone else. You were his true target. He had to prove to himself, and
      you, he had the power to take what he wanted, away from anyone, even someone as
      beloved as you are. He had to prove he was the stronger, more desired, more
      dominant male in town. I like to think of his type as “Caesar” and you are his
      “Spartacus.” Ms. Stewart was nothing more than a tool for him to punish you for
      your successes and over shadowing his prominence during his hour of glory. It
      ate away at him that his talents could not be recognized without your name
      boosting his production of SWATH because of your relationship with Ms. Stewart.
      You had nothing to do with SWATH! How dare you overshadow his work, his
      talents, and his creativity with the mere mention of your name! You are a lowly
      actor! He is the almighty director!

      What better way to knock you down a peg or two than to take the one thing
      you treasure most. Ms. Stewart was your vulnerability as much as you were hers
      and when you add her naïveté to the mix, neither one of you had a chance
      against the evil that hides in the hearts of men such as Rupert Sanders. You
      are nothing more than immature, naïve children in his eyes, and he knew he could
      crush you, both, with one blow. That is exactly what he did for the sake of
      fame. (Continued)

      He is winning. Ms. Stewart is a harlot, shunned righteously by you, the
      media, and the public, while Mr. Sanders, in a few short months, will receive
      pats on the back by his colleagues, and asked, “So, what was it like, you know,
      with Kristen? Was she worth it?” I won’t go further. You get the picture. Men
      are men when they cheat. Women are worthless harlots, damaged goods, and no
      longer fit to be seen with in public, when events such as these are revealed.
      It is always the woman’s fault, her seduction, her choice and her selfishness.
      Women are evil and the temptation of man. Men are the weak victims, unable to
      utter the word, “No” at the sight of a beautiful woman and unable to resist his
      own perversions in his mind because she put them there just by being a
      beautiful, desirable woman in his sights. (Continued)

      Mrs. Sanders, well let’s be nice and say I have my suspicions. She’s not
      well known in these parts, virtually invisible, until this event, and lonely,
      looking to liven up her boring, mundane motherly life with a new acting career.
      She was totally discontent with her new home and the extended absence of her
      poor, weak victim of a husband, not to mention sexless marriage. She said so,
      herself. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out her part in all this.
      If I had to guess, I would bet she was heading to a divorce attorney long
      before this event and was the one that tipped the paparazzo. She too, has benefited
      from this event. Gee, how many offers do you think she has received for
      modeling, interviews, and more importantly, acting? She’s playing the innocent
      wife victim of Ms. Stewart’s irresistible temptations toward her weak victim of
      a husband, perfectly. I can’t help but wonder how long it took them to plan the
      whole thing. Those pictures, told me much more than I bet they expected anyone
      to see. I saw ‘set-up’ from the get go! The biggest give away were the two
      pictures of Mr. Sanders looking straight into the camera. The one by the
      railing looks like he was gesturing, “Did you get that?” (Continued)

      You heard Mr. Sanders, “I am utterly distraught about the pain I have caused
      my family. My beautiful wife and heavenly children are all I have in this world.
      I love them with all my heart. I am praying that we can get through this
      together.” It was a staged apology, cold with no hint of sincerity in his voice
      or sweat on his brow. Praying? Oh, he didn’t mean what it seems he meant! He
      flubbed his words! He forgot the last three! “I’m praying that we can get
      through this together, without getting caught!” You’ve read his other comment,
      “I would do absolutely anything and everything to save my marriage.” Yeah, I
      believe that. How about this lie, “It was the worst mistake of my life.” Let me
      hear Mrs. Sanders say that. She’s riding on a high horse with wings, right
      about now. (Continued)

      Wow, what a trade off and complete role reversal, “The demise of Kristen
      Stewart’s acting career for the rise of Liberty Sanders.” Who is overshadowing
      whom, now? It makes me so sad to see people do this to each other. Do I just
      have an over active, devious mind? I feel ashamed of myself for being no better
      than the tabloids. Please forgive me for not erasing this evil trash, but if I
      can see it, and think it, do you really think it’s that farfetched? I am just a
      normal person, sitting on the outside, looking in. I believe the Sanders,
      without Ms. Stewart’s knowledge, orchestrated it and she truly is as much a
      victim as you. The Sanders have destroyed so much goodness and it is painful. I
      am so sorry. I hope you see what I see and salvage yourselves, together or
      separately, it doesn’t matter, as long as you both survive with your heads held

      Why is it the woman’s responsibility to say “NO” and it’s
      “OK” for a married man to seduce, approach or say “Yes” to
      his sexual urges instead of him being responsible enough at 41 yrs. old to
      fight those urges, even if he is the one approached?

      • http://twitter.com/bomyuri_ Shegotthatsomething

        More like he and his wife wanted a bit of spotlight on them..even if its 5 mins LOL

    • ro

      Takes a big hoe like jolene to judge others. She such an ugly bitch even Billy Bob thorton was to good for her. I remember the pic of Jolene kissing her brother on the lips. Who knows maybe her dad and brothers are her kids father. She’s such a classy women.

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    • Guest

      Why do people automatically assume Jolie is so beyond the average level of intelligence in Hollywood? Her humanitarianism (though appreciated) is not necessarily a mark of intellect. Her IQ is superior, however, when it comes to media manipulation.

      If she actually did tweet these quotes, she’s the last Hollywood personality to be in a legit position to call out and judge showmances. She reigns queen when it comes to putting on a carefully crafted performance for the media at every turn. She may be blissfully happy, living out the perfect life — or however she likes to sell it — with Pitt and her kids. But she has always capitalized on opportunity to further her own personal agenda. Quote 3d is my favorite. Stop pimping your kids out, Jolie, then you can offer your words of wisdom as to the limits of media fiction writers.

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