How have you spent this Labor Day weekend so far? Lounging? Relaxing? Maybe attending a couple cookouts? You did? Well, you’re so boring! While you were doing all those unoriginal things, Justin Bieber was laying around posting shirtless photos of himself. Why? Because he thinks he’s Kim Kardashian, that’s why. Vanity is an addiction, people!
However, in this case do we let it slide because the photos probably did things to 15-year-old girls and pedophiles everywhere that have never been done before to their bodies and hearts? Did some teenager experience her first orgasm because Bieber is all sprawled out showing off his “manly” new crown tattoo? Let’s hope so! We wouldn’t want it to have been all for nothing.
Here’s the first one from August 30th. It’s an obvious plea to get votes for the upcoming VMAs. Please note the “artsy” effects being used to entice his stalkers, er, I mean fans, into making sure he gets that award:
Here’s the second one from August 31st. This is where he shows off his “manly” and “sophisticated” tattoo. Oh, and of course, his bedhead which he probably put hours into making that way:
And the third one he posted yesterday afternoon… he’s definitely pulling a Kardashian here. No question about it:
At least he finally comes to his senses and realizes that he’s gotten carried away with the photos (as you can see in his last tweet at the top of this post.) But that’s where he really fucks up: he compares himself to a “young Mark Wahlberg.” Ha! Has he never seen photos of Marky-Mark in his prime or even now for that matter? Wahlberg may have picked Bieber to be in his new movie about a basketball player [insert more roars of laughter here], but I think we can admit that decision was probably based on an attempt at soaring box office numbers and not, dare I say, acting ability.
Oh, Biebs, being vain and delusional are horrible traits! But based on the feedback from your fans on Twitter, they probably don’t even know what those words mean, and if they do, they just don’t care. You gave them what they wanted: You. Topless. Looking creepy… um, I mean “dreamy.”
Photos: Justin Bieber Twitter