What was going through his mind when he and wife Megan Mullally posed in this nude photo: My wife is just apeshit for grapes. We had just done a 3 week tour of Vienna, Bruges, and Prague, over Christmastime, and every day in these venerated European cities, in a picturesque town square, centuries old, I would purchase a 12-inch pork sausage, some variety of Bratwurst, and wolf it down, muttering my adoration of Europe all the while. If your math is sound, that’s about 21 linear feet of pork sausage, 1 1/4″ in diameter on average. Then I was reminded that I had a naked photo shoot in NY upon the day of our return. I laughed from deep in my pork-lined belly, long and loud. It was worth it.
How much action his mustache sees: If by “action”, you mean “the puss”, I’d say that is not for public consumption, either literally or figuratively. The rumors that my moustache has a burgeoning career in Japanese porn are almost entirely unfounded. As far as I know.
Which Monopoly figurine best represents him: I choose the thimble because no matter where I roam, you can’t prick my motherfuckin’ thumb with your bitch-ass Scottie Dog. Can I cuss on here?
His praise for wife Megan (aww!): I met Megan right after season 2 of W&G, doing a play at The Evidence Room Theater in LA. It was immediately apparent that I was countenancing the premiere comic talent of our age. My wife is so funny and beautiful and sings like a goddamn angel bird pixie queen, that watching her career take off, and standing by her side as she received accolades all made a lot of sense to me, and has just continually served to remind me what a lucky bastard I am. I look forward to many more years of reminders.
Favorite type of scene to film for Parks and Rec: Any scene. If I am on the call sheet, it is my favoritest.
Also: Any scene with Amy or Pratt or Aubrey or Adam or Aziz or Rashida or Rob or Retta. Or in my canoe. Or as Duke Silver.
Photo: Nick Offerman