I’m truly surprised that, after months of teasing us with photos of its nubile young stars in candy-colored bikinis and smoking all sexily, that Spring Breakers didn’t lead with that same sultry, dangerous air for its first clip. Instead, we get a thirty-second clip of Selena Gomez bemoaning the soul-sucking dangers of suburbia, while Ashley Benson looks on with the same sympathetic eyes she uses on Pretty Little Liars and Vanessa Hudgens mimes shooting herself and her friends.
I’m sorry, I thought this was some sort of sugar-and-spice beach romp about a bunch of bored kids who rob a restaurant to finance their spring break and then end up in jail and tangling with James Franco as a cornrowed Kevin Federline lookalike? This is way too blue-hued and depressing for our tastes. Where’s the scenes of the girls giggling and holding people at gunpoint, or making doe eyes at cops to get out of handcuffs, or racing down the highway with Franco in a stolen car?
I almost wonder if this video were leaked and weren’t meant to be officially released. Because seriously, every piece of promotion has focused on how Selena and co. are shedding their good-girl images with these fake forays into smoking and seduction. And as someone who’s watched Vanessa and Selena on Disney since they were sweet little kids, I’m interested to see if they can carry off this transition into older roles without getting caught up in the usual child star roadblocks of DUIs and leaked naked pics. (OK, Vanessa already got stuck with the last one, but she seems to have recovered well.)
Most of all, I want this movie to be funny. I think there’s a lot of potential for it to be snarky and fun, like a junior Thelma & Louise in beachwear, as we root for these girls to get their cash and have the best spring break of their lives. Because apparently the brown grass in suburbia is a fate worse than death.
Photo: Interview Magazine